Anthony you want to know why I hate you? Why I want you to die? The answers are quite simple and I think you already know what I'm going to say, honey.

You left me with my baby in my arms as soon as she was born. I never got one call, one e-mail, one anything from you for the next eleven years and had to raise my daughter by myself seeing as I don't have any parents to call my own since mine are dead. I lost the job I had that I loved because I couldn't raise a child and do it at the same time. I then began a long downward spiral of trying to get a job and either not obtaining the position or getting fired. But then again not being able to hold a job is my own incompetence, right?

Then you came back into my life as soon as I was about to get my daughter back. We could have been happy together, Anthony. I was going to be with her and him. And then when I try to help you get my daughter, I ended up in a situation even worse before. I didn't sleep, I hardly ate, I was plagued by horrible nightmares when I did, I woke up places that weren't where I fell asleep. I was essentially miserable and stuck with a husband who I didn't need anymore. I tried to leave you, found a woman better than you'll ever be and I had to leave her anyway.

And then in the end, when all of this is done and I think we're going to finally get my daughter back and maybe I have a chance to be happy, we fight with Redlight and not only do I get tazered, I lose one of my arms saving you and Simon because you're the most useless two men I've ever met in my life. Elijah was better than you were, Anthony. I wish he hadn't been killed, I wish it had been you.

When we were on the run after that, my arm burned shut by the very being that you said just wanted to kill us, I realized maybe he didn't want me dead. Maybe he just wanted you dead because you're such a nuisance, a cockroach that won't die even when every single being wants it to just DIE ALREADY. 

So I went with him because he cares about me and my daughter. And he'll continue to take care of us as long as we continue to serve him. I will do that and I will kill you because you're a large thorn in my side that needs to just go away once and for all.

That, Anthony, is why I want you dead.

Now why would I do that?

This is my baby, I'm not going to kill it. Some people are here are very strange...besides, I hardly think Tony would be happy if I murdered our child, don't you think?

I'm pregnant.

I've been having quite peculiar dreams lately. Normally they wouldn't matter but when I puke blood in my nightmares and then do it in real life once I wake up, I gather that maybe something is not right. I don't know. He tells me that I'm alright and I believe Him. He is taking care of me after all. But this constant nausea and the nightmares that are reoccurring and always the same now...well, I have to suspect that something is wrong, right?

Have you ever had a feeling that something about you has changed but you don't know what? I feel sick all the time and sometimes when I throw up, I throw up blood. I don't think that's healthy, haha.

I have to take naps more because when I stay up too long my head starts to hurt and that's just not very fun to deal with. But everything is going to be okay because he told me so. He's going to make everything okay and make all my hurt and troubles go away.

I wonder what happened during those two months I was gone?

Today is a beautiful day

isn't it?

I think so. It's lovely. How is everyone else doing?

Hush little baby don't you cry

Mama's gonna sing you a lullaby

And if that lullaby don't work

Mama's gonna bring Him back with her,

And if He doesn't get you back...

Well

That shouldn't be a problem.