Saturday, March 19, 2011


Things have been very quiet lately- I don't know if that's good or bad. Tony and I have been staying in one place for quite a while now, and I haven't seen him anywhere, so I suppose that's a plus to the situation. We're attempting to think of any clues that may help lead us to Cynthia, but so far we're drawing blanks. I'm afraid that Redlight or him will make her do something she'll regret. I'm scared for her.

Any updates on her blog? Well, I mean, I'm unsure if I'll be able to see what you're trying to tell me, but it's worth it to at least attempt, right?

Oh yes, and Tony has been acting more paranoid as of late. It's making me nervous. We haven't seen anyone, so I don't know why he's so tense and always looking like he's ready to bolt. Every time I try to talk to him about it, he always says it's nothing. I wish he would be honest for once.

Take care of yourselves.


Tuesday, March 8, 2011


Thage. I'll try and come back soon if everything permits. I didn't want to leave, but too many people staying at your house causes you to have to perform deals which no one wants. I'm sorry. I

I'm trying really hard not to cry right now because then Tony would know and it would just be awkward and then he'd try to comfort me, but we both know he's not good at that.

I love you, Thage.

Even if we haven't known each other for very long, when you asked me to stay one more day I almost caved in. I would stay with you forever if I could. You're such a wonderful woman and I don't think I deserved to have you fall for me and commit to a relationship.

But...despite everything, Anthony and I have to keep moving forward. We have to find Cynthia. Something could happen to her any day- I wish I didn't have to chose between anyone, I wish this was easy, I wish that these things didn't have to happen! Why?! Dammit it all, I just want to wake up and realize it's all a bad dream and that we're all together and happy, and a family.

Then again, wishful thinking doesn't get anyone anywhere.

We're going to find her. Or she's going to find us. Either way I'm getting my daughter back. And then I'm coming home to you. I promise.

Take care of yourselves.



Hey kids, it's Uncle Tony reminding you not to be dumbasses while effectively ruining Cathy's post. Hehe, I guess I'm gonna go ahead and apologize too, Ava and Reach. I know we left without telling you two anything, but you're both stubborn and would have probably thought of some good reasons as to why we shouldn't pack everything and drive.

Ava, don't be stupid for a while, Reach make sure she's safe but don't do something retarded either. The last thing I need is to come swooping in to save your asses again.

Thage, thank you for taking care of Cathy and I. I don't think we talked all that much but I can tell you're a fighter deep down. Maybe you should think about trying to punch some minions in the face sometime when they come around asking you for addresses to other runners. Dunno, I mean, I know you got the contract or whatever, but when all of this clears up maybe you could join the ranks. Hehe, just food for thought.

Alright, we just stopped for dinner but we're getting ready to move again. Keep your asses outta trouble.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011


So Tony and Reach finally made their way to Thage's house. They've been here for a while now and...well, it was very awkward at first. The last time I saw my husband...ex-husband...whatever he is, I had knocked him out with a broken brick and left him at the hotel. And here he was, somehow found his way back to me in the end. I can't seem to go anywhere without him following, can I?

I'm glad he's alright. He was favoring his left leg so I think he might have gotten more injured than he said on his blog. But that would be just like Tony to keep quiet if he's hurt. He likes to play tough guy. Reach was...well he looked worse for wear. When I first saw him I think I made some sort of noise akin to a mother panicking when she sees her child injured, even if he is technically older than me. He still looks young, and so I'll see him as such most of the time. I asked him if he needed any patching up, but apparently Tony is better at being a mother than me because he had already done a good job of cleaning him up.

Thage gave him some food and

Oh, um, Thage. After that one entry she persuaded me to leave the bathroom and we ended up having quite a long talk about everything we were both feeling. Thage and I are in a relationship now. It's nothing...too serious. I honestly feel like I'm with my first boyfriend again, fumbling to fill up silences and unsure of what to do. I think it'll work out though. We know something could happen to either of us any day, so we're prepared for anything at this point.

Including nosy ex-husbands.

Anthony and I had a nice, lengthy chat about everything that's been happening. Although chat isn't the best word to describe the mood. There were angry words whispered so that we wouldn't bother Thage or Reach, and we went to another room too. We're both stressed because of Cynthia. At this point we've hit dead ends- we can't see anything she writes about and I have a feeling that we won't find her unless she wants to be found. I keep wishing that somehow I would find a hint of something that could help lead me to her, but I'm grasping at air at this point.

What Tony did while we were split up was admirable. He saved multiple people, and one of the problems was caused because of us. (I'm sorry Ava, I still see the Cynthia situation having happened because of our inability to be good parents.) I know himself up over having to leave Ava, but Thage has made a deal that got her back as far as I can see. Not to be rude, but I'm more distracted by my own family at the moment.

A lot has happened over the last week or so too. There are multiple Redlights apparently and that makes me feel very uneasy. Those people have my daughter and they obviously don't care for Anthony and I. He just laughs it off and says they'll never get to us, but I know that we're not invincible. Sometimes I wonder if Tony has lost the ability to fear. I know it sounds ridiculous, but who knows what happened to him during all those years. He won't tell me, just brushes the question away and changes the subject. It makes me frustrated but then he even said it didn't matter because we weren't married anymore and I shouldn't care.

I almost slapped him but I refrained myself from doing so. Violence isn't always the answer, after all. I know he's just under pressure right now. At this point he's the odd man out- it's no secret. Reach and Ava will probably stick together and go off to do their own thing and I'm staying with Thage for now. Two groups with one man in the middle. I don't think he wants any of us alone, keeps mentioning how we'd all be killed in seconds if something happened.

I honestly don't know what to think anymore. I've exhausted myself once more, to the point where it's hard to put ideas together and formulate responses. But I'm not showing weakness, especially in front of Anthony. With the bags under his eyes, it almost seems like he never sleeps. I don't know how you all do it, run day after day and wear yourself down until it's sheer will power moving your legs. I'm envious.

Have there been any updates on Cynthia's blog? Can anyone tell me what she's been doing? I think the last thing I saw was when Ava was, I think, talking to her on her own blog about killing soldiers? I don't know. I was getting only half of the conversation so things became confusing.

I think that's all I really have to say.

Take care of yourselves.