Thursday, December 29, 2011

Anthony you want to know why I hate you? Why I want you to die? The answers are quite simple and I think you already know what I'm going to say, honey.

You left me with my baby in my arms as soon as she was born. I never got one call, one e-mail, one anything from you for the next eleven years and had to raise my daughter by myself seeing as I don't have any parents to call my own since mine are dead. I lost the job I had that I loved because I couldn't raise a child and do it at the same time. I then began a long downward spiral of trying to get a job and either not obtaining the position or getting fired. But then again not being able to hold a job is my own incompetence, right?

Then you came back into my life as soon as I was about to get my daughter back. We could have been happy together, Anthony. I was going to be with her and him. And then when I try to help you get my daughter, I ended up in a situation even worse before. I didn't sleep, I hardly ate, I was plagued by horrible nightmares when I did, I woke up places that weren't where I fell asleep. I was essentially miserable and stuck with a husband who I didn't need anymore. I tried to leave you, found a woman better than you'll ever be and I had to leave her anyway.

And then in the end, when all of this is done and I think we're going to finally get my daughter back and maybe I have a chance to be happy, we fight with Redlight and not only do I get tazered, I lose one of my arms saving you and Simon because you're the most useless two men I've ever met in my life. Elijah was better than you were, Anthony. I wish he hadn't been killed, I wish it had been you.

When we were on the run after that, my arm burned shut by the very being that you said just wanted to kill us, I realized maybe he didn't want me dead. Maybe he just wanted you dead because you're such a nuisance, a cockroach that won't die even when every single being wants it to just DIE ALREADY. 

So I went with him because he cares about me and my daughter. And he'll continue to take care of us as long as we continue to serve him. I will do that and I will kill you because you're a large thorn in my side that needs to just go away once and for all.

That, Anthony, is why I want you dead.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Now why would I do that?

This is my baby, I'm not going to kill it. Some people are here are very strange...besides, I hardly think Tony would be happy if I murdered our child, don't you think?

Sunday, November 20, 2011

I've been having quite peculiar dreams lately. Normally they wouldn't matter but when I puke blood in my nightmares and then do it in real life once I wake up, I gather that maybe something is not right. I don't know. He tells me that I'm alright and I believe Him. He is taking care of me after all. But this constant nausea and the nightmares that are reoccurring and always the same now...well, I have to suspect that something is wrong, right?

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Have you ever had a feeling that something about you has changed but you don't know what? I feel sick all the time and sometimes when I throw up, I throw up blood. I don't think that's healthy, haha.

I have to take naps more because when I stay up too long my head starts to hurt and that's just not very fun to deal with. But everything is going to be okay because he told me so. He's going to make everything okay and make all my hurt and troubles go away.

I wonder what happened during those two months I was gone?

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Hush little baby don't you cry

Mama's gonna sing you a lullaby

And if that lullaby don't work

Mama's gonna bring Him back with her,

And if He doesn't get you back...


That shouldn't be a problem.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

A lot has happened in the last few days that I'd rather not expand on. Cynthia did most of the explaining on her blog, so if you really want to know go look at it. I'm taking care of Cynthia now- her mother made me swear to make sure no harm came to her and, well, you can't say no to a mother's last request.

I mean she may not be dead, my fellow officers didn't find any bodies so either they got away, were taken by that thing know, burned up until there weren't even bones left. This is a depressing topic so I'll just change it.

After Cynthia and I got back from doing some shopping for her new room I checked my e-mail and found something from Cathy. She must have sent it to me right before we left because it wasn't there before. She instructed me in the message that, if she did not come back, I would make one last post on her blog for her. So, I am doing just that and putting the message she wrote up here.


If you all are reading this then that means that I have either been taken by the Slenderman or I am dead. Anthony, Simon and I are going where Cynthia has told us to knowing full well it’s a trap and we’ll probably get hurt. But this time we’re not going to let her get away. We’re going to get that Redlight son of a bitch and make him pay for trying to use our baby like this.

I have to say that it has been…not a fun ride, but an interesting one. Even though all these horrible things were happening I still somehow managed to find my ex-husband, obtain a best friend, and fall in love again. It’s funny how these things work out. You’d never think something like this would happen to you until it does. And when both bad and good things come out of it, it doesn’t really make sense but you go with it.

I wouldn’t be opposed to going with the Slenderman. His proxies are so reliant on him that they don’t have to worry about many things. To me it sounds so nice to be able to forget about all my troubles and just be free. I’ve never had any sort of freedom, I’ve always been bogged down by troubles, and I know I could be happy if I could just lose these issues. But they’ve stuck for so long that the Slenderman seems to be the only way to get rid of them and be worry free.

I guess we’ll see. No matter what I will fight to the best of my ability to get my daughter away from Redlight. I’ll make sure of that.

To everyone who has helped me along the way, thank you. I couldn’t have done all of this without the support you all gave me.

Take care of yourselves.



The last thing she said was for me to stay safe and make sure Cynthia did too. I wonder if she actually knew how this would turn out or if she was just guessing?

I'm going to leave this blog alone now. I will no longer be posting on here anymore so, if you need to talk to me, I will be using Cynthia's blog as a means of communication. If not, well...good luck.

-Simon Radler

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Today I had Anthony Delmont corner me in my own home. I have no idea how he even found out where I lived, but I'm definitely angry! He even had the nerve to punch me-again- and laugh about it!

But he had sort of a good idea. He and Cathy sat me down and told me everything about what they'd been through, what happened when they were kids, and what exactly this "Slenderman" thing is. They didn't want to, but they said it was for the best because their child, Cynthia Delmont, seems to have taken an interest in me. I'm unsure of what an eleven year old could do but apparently it's something bad.

The two proposed a team up with me to get Cynthia back and protect me at the same time. I told them no officer of the law needed a citizen to do their job, but Anthony simply scoffed and rolled his eye and then called me, and I quote, "A little wimp who needs to crawl back to his Momma when things get tough because he can't even take a goddamn hit like a man."

I hate Anthony Delmont so much.

I agreed to the team up. I have more areas that I can get to that they couldn't to help find Cynthia and they have more knowledge on this monster to protect me. I feel like I'm only getting deeper into this trouble but I can't think of anything else to do!

Friday, July 29, 2011

The entire police force has forgotten everything about the Delmonts. Even my friend who ran the case in the first place. Everyone has forgotten except for me.

I don't know what's happening anymore...

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I don't understand what the hell was that thing?! I followed the directions like that good girl said- she got it to my email, how in the world did she find my email- and I went to the graveyard to see if it would be an actual lead. It was a lead but it wasn't the lead I wanted, I don't understand what is going on anymore- FUCK!!

The graveyard, Cathy Delmont and Anthony Delmont were there- how the hell is that man alive?! I have a picture of him back when he was younger but it was still him, it looked just like him and different from him at the same time! That bastard knocked me out! He assaulted an officer- that's against the law!! And Cynthia Delmont is alive too?!!

She was CRAZY and kept smiling at me and telling me that I had to play the game now- what game?! It got worse though- this family of INSANE PEOPLE apparently has friends because some man named Elijah was there and he kept talking like he knew everything about Cathy Delmont, Anthony Delmont, and me. And, oh my god, Anthony Delmont isn't even Cynthia's father???

What is going on anymore???????

And there was....this thing. It was just suddenly there and- it wasn't normal! I think I may have hallucinated or something because something like that couldn't exist, right? It was so tall and stick thin and it didn't have a face...

The other man was murdered at the graveyard. An hour ago I managed to go back to the site and he was no where to be found. Cynthia Delmont is missing still. Cathy Delmont seems to be innocent, Anthony Delmont is apparently alive, and there is some...thing out there. I don't know what to think anymore. I just want to take some medicine for my headache and pretend this never happened.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Yesterday I went and payed Miss Kay a visit over in New Jersey. It was extremely hot, a long drive, and I'm never going back there again! I can't tell any of you much simply because as a policeman it would be against my duty to betray my word and I promised her to keep things off the record...and because, let's face it, this is the internet and I don't trust the internet!

But...Miss Kay wasn't as mean to me as she decided to be in the comments, in fact she gave me a glass of ice tea and had a civilized conversation with me. She's a very small woman, I expected some sort of giant monkey lady, to be honest! I guess what I'm trying to say is that she persuaded me to believe that maybe- maybe- Cathy Delmont might not be the killer we, the force, believe she potentially is. But this is a work in progress, so we'll see.

As one last update I'll say this, we're giving back Cathy Delmont her blog, but it will be watched. So post at your own risk, Mrs. Delmont.

-Officer Simon Radler
Georgia State Police

Saturday, July 16, 2011

I am not quite sure why you bloggers are being so rude, but I suppose I can blame it all on your delusions, hallucinations and the "roleplaying" that you all do. Cathy Delmont seemed to have suffered under the same mental illnesses and that's precisely why she is under custody at this moment in time. If we are able to prove her guilty then we can lock a murderous wife and parent up for a very long time, so I suggest you cooperate!

And as for questioning my status, I am actually a Uniform Policeman and I handle traffic in certain areas. I also get called in to help with certain cases and a small group of us had been alerted of looking out for Mrs. Cathy Delmont. It was just my luck that I spotted her at the cafe the other day or she might have gotten away! My buddy (I am not allowed to mention other names on this blog according to my superiors) was in charge of the case and he trusted me to help him out even if no one else did. This woman had been missing for months after all and we were beginning to think she was dead as well!

As a final note, the police are in control of this blog and we can track your IP addresses, so I would watch my tone if I were you!

-Officer Simon Radler
Georgia State Police

P.S.- I am changing the settings to this blog because the red looks ugly and hurts my eyes.

Friday, July 15, 2011

This blog is now under the observation of Georgia State Law. Cathy Delmont has been taken into custody for the alleged murder of her husband, Anthony Delmont, the kidnapping of her child, Cynthia Delmont, and kidnapping and alleged murder of Rachel Hendrickson. This blog will be used as evidence while she is being evaluated for commitment.

If any of you "bloggers" know the whereabouts of her child or husband, contact the nearest police station! This is Officer Simon Radler, you can refer them to me or any of my superiors. Every bit of information you can provide can help us find this little girl!!

Even though the rest of you sound just as crazy as she is with your brainwashed delusions, we still need all the help we can get to solve this heinous crime!

-Officer Simon Radler
Georgia State Police

Sunday, July 10, 2011


We're leaving the Haven. Leaving in an hour. Tony is telling Ava and the others goodbye- I already said what I needed to.

I am a bad mother.

We're leaving.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Long days and restless nights

We arrived at Celeste’s house. I’m exhausted and as soon as we were allowed inside and shown an area to sleep, I passed out. I don’t know how long I was out, but when I dreamed it was of that scarred man, the look of shock on his face when the knife slid into him, and the dying light in his eyes as his hands tried to uselessly stop the bleeding. And the whole time that I see this happening over and over that monster is in the background, watching the man fall to the floor, body twitching. Then it looks at me, the stretched out skin on its face turned so suddenly in my direction- too fast and too abrupt- and I wake up sweating and with a scream bubbling up in my throat.

The others haven’t noticed how bad I’m doing right now, or they’re too preoccupied to care. Tony’s injuries are more obvious and so he gets more attention. It’s not like he ever asks for it, he just somehow always receives it…

I’m in pain too; it’s just mental and emotional. I think that I might be still in shock over taking a life, even if he would have killed me if he had the chance and I’m sure he wouldn’t have had dreams that woke him up in the middle of the night and left such dark circles under his eyes. I’m sure that those proxies don’t have much of anything to worry about save for listening to that thing.

I suppose that explains why Tony isn’t feeling much of anything.

I know he was a proxy for years, and I know that he did all sorts of things that he will never tell anyone. And he admits this to the world and all they can say is that it’s understandable that he would turn out this way and they accept him anyway. I don’t understand how someone like that could be viewed as a Saint of sorts, as someone who they can depend on even when he would turn on them at a moments notice if it saved his skin. Proxies are like animals, if you think about it. Killing mindlessly, regretting nothing, and controlled by their masters, their leaders. Perhaps in a way, we are too, but we still care.

 I guess if we used some of the bigger bloggers as examples, that one “M” man could be compared to a wolf, one who runs on his own and doesn’t accept the help of anyone. Mr. Strahm would be something of a noble lion, tough as nails and viewed as a hero of sorts. And then Tony would be a hyena. No one takes notice of the hyena, because he crawls in after the other animals, laughing insanely to himself because he has fooled everyone and picks up all the leftovers.

I’m unsure where I fall anymore in all of this. I am a murderer and yet I’m not feeling many emotions. If anything, I feel more…free. I did something that under normal circumstances would be frowned on, but here it’s merely normal. This is a society we have built, one that runs off of more animal instinct, and I am becoming more of an animal each day. It’s only a matter of time before the master comes and takes me away.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

I'm so calm right now, it's odd. I should be panicking, but I suppose I did all the panicking I needed a day ago.

I found Anthony. I found Elijah and, as Tony called him, "Scarface", as well.

After I posted my previous entry Scarface came and picked me up. Which really just involved beating me over the head, knocking me out, and carrying me to this abandoned clinic. I remember waking up slowly, head aching and throbbing, and looking around as I realized I had been simply set in the corner of a room. There was nothing in it, just a single working light. That was when the panic and fear set in and I began to hyperventilate and pound on the only door in the room, screaming and hoping someone would hear me somehow.

As it turns out I had been in the janitor's closet. Scarface came, pulling me out by arm and more or less yanking me after him. At the time I was in a daze, unable to talk let alone fight back, and I let him pull me along. He led me to a room- some sort of place that minor medicinal acts could be held in, I suppose. There was a single chair in it, the kind dentist's would use.

Tony was strapped in it. They had bound his hands, ankles, and neck with thick restraining strips. He looked...horrible. The two of them had been torturing him for over a day and there was dried blood covering skin and clothes as well as fresh blood that made me gag from the smell. And then I realized Elijah was standing there. I hadn't seen him since the incident months ago when I had to...cut him open.

He had this friendliest smile on his face, like we were simply greeting each other at the grocery store, and even said hello and asked how I was doing. I couldn't speak at the time and probably looked rather traumatized, so he just gestured for Scarface to sit me down in the corner again. Tony was watching me with his


Elijah, he- it still makes me gag to think about it- he pulled his injured eye out. It was in a jar filled with some sort of liquid, floating in it. The socket was empty and red, scarred all around it and oh god it was horrible and

They had been pulling nails too, cutting him where it would hurt the most, carving their own sick versions of tattoos into his skin that will never go away. Scarface apparently gave him a cut running from his injured eye to his ear to "match his own" while Tony had still been screaming in pain from his eye being pulled out. They had punched him and kicked him but done everything they could to keep him in one piece, not broken, and still awake to be in agony for hours in end until that monster would come for him. The room stank of blood, urine and sweat and I began to cry in the corner, just sitting there and being useless.

Elijah, the master surgeon behind Tony still living, said he wanted me to watch as he broke every bone in Tony's body because this was my fault for not killing him when I had the chance. Scarface grabbed my head and forced me to look at my Anthony as Elijah began breaking a finger, and then another, and then another. And Tony was gritting his teeth, trying not to cry out and wheezing for air. He couldn't move or do anything and that was when something inside of me...snapped.

I just...I screamed as loud as I could, startling Scarface and loosening his grip. I twisted away and lunged towards Elijah, shoving him into a counter nearby and cracking his back against it. Then I grabbed one of the knives they had used to carve into my Anthony and I turned in time to stab outward and right into Scarface's throat. We both froze and he gurgled, chocking and trying to push my hands and the knife away. I just twisted it and pulled as hard as I could to the side and it ripped out of his throat and

killed him.

I killed a man last night. I am a murderer.

Elijah ran while I stood there with the bloody knife, watching Scarface's body drop to the floor and blood pool around his head, eyes staring at the ceiling unblinkingly. After a few moments I snapped out of whatever stupor I fell into and numbly freed Tony. We didn't talk. He grabbed a few supplies that Elijah had brought along to patch himself up and we left. I helped him limp back to the car- we were lucky no one stopped us and asked why we were covered in blood. The car was still where we had left it, everything in it. We spent the night there, silent and wiping blood off of ourselves as best as we could, and trying to fix Tony's wounds.

I don't know how to feel at the moment. I don't really feel anything at all. Elijah and Scarface had come for Tony and I to torture us both until that monster arrived to break our minds. They did what Tony had done to so many other runners. I suppose they thought it would be a fitting end to he and I.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

He was with me all day and everything seemed fine, but then he started having a bad headache again and so I thought he was going to remember something else. We decided to stay in the car for the night but I woke up early last night and he was gone and

The car door had been left open. I don't know how long he's been gone but I asked around and the store owner across the street says they saw two men hanging around my car and then three leaving together. All I know is that they went left. That's it. That's all I have and Tony could be dead by now oh god what if he is

I'm trying to stay calm, but I have this horrible feeling of being watched and I think I'm next and I can't fight- okay, okay, don't panic. He has that iPhone on him still which belonged to some girl named Amanda Rewin. If I call the service could I track it? Please, I'm out of ideas and I have no idea what to do other than ask around if anyone saw him.

I'm so scared, oh god, I'm scared.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

We left

Kay's house a few days ago. Sorry I didn't update, things were just very emotional and I didn't honestly feel like posting. Kay, when you read this, good luck. I just saw the update about Maduin and, well, I hope this doesn't bring you more trouble. I want you safe, or as safe as you can be.

As for Tony and I, we're traveling again, never staying in one spot for more than a day, two at the max. He said that Ava might need us to take her to Celie, whom I've never even met but according to him they're good friends. I feel like we aren't getting anywhere. Tony is managing to remember what happened to him in his past, but nothing he's recalled will help us get to Cynthia.

It sounds mean, but it's true.

I just want my daughter back, and I can't even find one measly lead to where she may be. Somehow Robert can find us, with Tony covering our tracks for the most part, but I can't even locate my own child. It's agonizing and everyday that passes I feel like we lose our chance to get her back more and more.

I'm trying to find anything on my Grandmother, but at this point I'm starting to think it was a slip of the tongue on Tony's mothers part, and that I may never find her. Perhaps I'm not meant to do anything? Maybe I'm always going to be unable to help anyone? I'll always be known as that useless mother who lost everything because she can't even think about fighting proxies without tearing up and shaking in fear.

I can't do this. I'm not good at this running thing and I'm even worse at taking care of my family. Tony would be better off without me- if it weren't for me he wouldn't be blind in one eye and remembering such painful things. I don't know what to do anymore.

Take care of yourselves.


Sunday, May 8, 2011

So it's been a while since I've posted.


things have been hard lately. To the point where it's difficult to post on here. But Tony said I should try and seeing as quite a few things have happened lately...

Tony remembers being in a police station. He said he thinks he was a teenager, and for some reason he's being held there and getting a mug shot and taking prints. He has no idea why, but he wants to have it recorded somewhere so I'm putting it here.

He also told me what Cynthia is doing. She's letting herself go and

I don't want to talk about this.

Robert, we got your letter. Or package, or whatever it is. For anyone who is wondering, Tony and I had taken a rest stop at a motel for the night after sleeping in the car for so long. When I woke up and left the room to get some breakfast, I found a large manila envelope sitting outside our door. "To the Delmonts" was written on the front along with an Operator symbol and a return address to Robert Sagel. On the back "Do not open yet" was written.

Tony opened it anyway, Robert. He wasn't just going to let it sit there.

But all that was inside were a bunch of blank pages. I don't understand what this is supposed to do. Tony is furious that you knew where we were and, let me quote, "Had the balls to leave some mystery bullshit on our doorstep, we don't need this fuckery right now so you can take your problems and shove them up your ass, Robbie."

Sorry he's so...colorful, Robert. But I do have to wonder why you left us that envelope.

Changing subjects, I haven't found any leads on my Grandmother. I'm reaching my wits end and I need to just take a break from all of this, even though I know it's impossible. you think we could possibly come and visit you? It doesn't have to be soon would help, I think.

To everyone else, take care of yourselves.


Monday, April 25, 2011

Back in town

Tony and I decided to drive back to the city Cynthia and I had lived in before everything happened. We're going to look around and see if we can find any leads on my grandmother.

Tony is also trying to remember anything, as am I, but so far we're not having any luck. He has no idea what happened to him as a kid through his teenage years up to meeting me in college, and I can't recall any memories of actually having a grandmother, let alone Tony's parents knowing her.

We have to find Cynthia. Tony can read her posts now, but I still can't- not even the one that Redlight apparently wrote. He told me what that man is planning on doing. Cynthia, baby, if you're somehow able to read this, we're working as fast as we can. Stay strong and don't let the bad man get you, please. Mommy will find a way to get you back, I promise.

Take care of yourselves.


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Safe for now

I haven't slept all night. I'm too scared. I

They lied to us. They were working for the both of them the whole time...

Tony's father- he's a pharmacist. I should've been more careful, more suspicious. While I was at the park his father came home and they drugged him. I think they had put drugs in my food for dinner too, but I didn't eat- I had gone straight upstairs to talk to Tony about my Grandmother situation. He just looked like he was asleep, but when I tried to wake him he wouldn't open his eyes. I was scared that thing had gotten into his head and I panicked and ran downstairs to warn his parents, thinking they were in danger.

They attacked me, tried to stab me with the kitchen knives. I sprinted up the stairs to get back to Tony and the father managed to grab my ankle and trip me- my knees and shins now have lovely bruises covering them. I was able to kick him away and lock the door to the room before they caught me. And when I turned

He was there.
Watching us.
Peering in silently.
And then he broke the window and his...arms- if they could even be called that- were wrapping around Tony and pulling him towards the outside. I couldn't lose him. No matter how rude he is and how much he may be hiding, he's still Anthony. So I grabbed him and tried pulling him away- and it actually worked. I don't think he was expecting me to do that or maybe he had just been playing a game. Nevertheless I yanked Tony away and he got angry.

There was this high pitched squeal in my ears- the same one I heard when Thage read me Cynthia's posts- and everything started to black out. His...arms were whipping around, cutting through the air and smashing things in the room to pieces. I realized that he was pulling himself into the bedroom. The parents were on the other side of the door and he was right there so...there was a large wardrobe in the room. I dragged Tony over to it and somehow managed to get us both in before shutting the doors and wrapping wire hangers around some doorknobs on the inside.

At some point the door to the room must have been broken because I could hear them pounding on the doors, screaming at me and calling me a whore, and trying to open the wardrobe. But the doors held. He didn't do anything, it was them who scraped their knives along the wood and whispered to me that who I had with me wasn't Tony. They said everything he knows about himself had been taught to him by them. The real Tony is gone, they said, the one you have doesn't know anything.
Do you know what he did?
What he is?
Where he went during those eleven years?
Who he even was as a child?

After so long it finally stopped. I was able to post with Tony's iPhone sometime during all of this because...I thought we were going to die. But, after a few hours of waiting I unwrapped the wires and took a risk. There was no one in the room, but the entire area was ruined. Before I checked anything I ran over and locked the only door in. When I turned and saw the wardrobe...

They had carved "Mommy" into the wood dozens of times. And it clicked- they worked for Redlight, they worked daughter. I don't know if she had been here the whole time, or if she had come in while I was hiding, or

I'm not strong or brave. When it all set in, I started crying and I couldn't stop. I don't know how long it took me to calm down, but eventually I checked the downstairs to see if the parents were home. I was so scared that they were going to suddenly leap out at me, or that Redlight would be there, or that I would see him again. They were gone. I had to drag Tony down the stairs and to the car outside. The only items I thought to bring in my panic was my purse, laptop and his iPhone. The car was working, which made me suspicious, but there was nothing else I could've done.

I've driven to a random location but I'm trying to stay moving. Tony woke up this morning. He

During the moment when he had been crawling in, destroying the furniture and clawing at the walls, somehow...he hit Tony.

Tony is

His right eye is damaged beyond repair. He can't see out of it at all, and I don't think he'll ever be able to again. I have no idea what to do- I bandaged it up as best as I could and tried to look up on the internet what to do, but there's only so much I can do and he refuses to go to the hospital.

Everything is just too much right now. I'm worried, stressed to the point of wanting to kill myself and end everything. But...I have a lead. I'm going to find my Grandmother and see if I can find out what the hell is going on. I might be able to find Cynthia, but there's a part of me that's starting to think something bigger may be going on.

There's too many questions and not enough answers.

Take care of yourselves.


Monday, April 11, 2011

It's odd

Mrs. Delmont and I were preparing dinner together a little while ago and chatting about trivial things. I was mostly talking about suspicious activity, but she kept mentioning stories from "back in her day". They consisted of Tony when he was a little boy usually, but sometimes she brought of tales from when she was a child, or a teenager, or adult and marrying Mr. Delmont. It was relaxing to say in the least, to be able to talk to another woman and cook. I was enjoying the beautiful day and cutting some meat for the roast we were preparing.

But...she mentioned my grandmother. And it was strange because I know I had a grandmother, but I don't know- if that makes any sense. It's as though the idea of having one was always there, but it never occurred to me until now to think about visiting her or trying to contact her. I don't even remember ever speaking to her as far as my mind can recall, and I thought I had gotten all my memories back. Mrs. Delmont said it was a slip of the tongue and she meant to say her own grandmother, but she looked so out of place when she tried to recover the sentence that the alarm bells went off in my head.

I know I had mentioned that it looks strange for Tony to be at the park alone, but not me. So I told him to stay and keep an eye on his parents while I headed over to sit and think, which is what I'm doing now. I can't...recall someone who I apparently knew. I'm not getting any headaches, so I don't think she's "off limits" or anything. But she might be blocked from my mind. I don't know why.

This is the first solid lead I've gotten in weeks, and I'm going to try and follow it. I'll talk to Tony about it when I get back, but for now I'm going to keep trying to remember anything about her before dinner time.

Take care of yourselves.


P.S.- As a side note, Ava and Reach, if I see you two fighting and because of your fighting your baby is hurt, I am going to be furious. This is your child and you two need to grow up and stop calling each other petty names. You now have a baby and you damn well better take care of that baby. Because if you lose's like losing your whole world.
I don't care about circumstances, feelings, and any arguments that happened in the past. That was the past- you can't change it. It's time to look forward and take on the future. Try and give your baby the best life it can possibly have. I still see you, Ava, as the younger sister I never had and you, Reach, as a friend; and I do not want to see you two at each others throats doing his job for him.

Friday, April 8, 2011

The Park

Tony and I visited the park yesterday. We tried a few times, going at different points in the day and on into the evening to see if there would be any differences. The strange thing was...I think there was a difference, which doesn't bode well for the people in this area.

When we first arrived in the morning, there obviously weren't many people there. Maybe a few families who were simply walking around or taking a hike as the park has a playground, fields to play sports in, a cement path for people to jog on, and then several different trails to take hikes. It seems to be the perfect hunting ground for this monster. The families we saw did not seem troubled by anything, and did not stick around for long. So we left and went back to the house to eat some brunch before we headed out again. This time there were many more people, but still not as much due to school for older kids and work for most parents still in session during the time we arrived. But younger children were screaming, laughing, and running around while mothers looked on and chatted with each other.

I do have to point out that Tony stood out painfully. I don't think I saw another father in the area at all, which while it was amusing is nothing new to most children's playgrounds. (He also told me not to mention this but it was far too funny not to- he was hit on by a few of the "cougars" sitting on one of the park benches when he walked by to come back over where I had been staying.) I know now that him going to the park alone during that time would not be a good idea if we want to be discrete.

But the most important thing during this time of day is that the children seemed to keep glancing at the woods that resided just beyond the monkey bars and slides. It wouldn't have been noticeable if so many of them hadn't kept looking over briefly or even just blatantly staring at times. The mothers didn't notice it, but Tony and I did. We tried looking into the woods without actually entering them, but as far as we could tell, there was nothing in them. Tony did seem to be very uncomfortable at this point though, so we decided to head back and stay at the house for a few hours before going back again.

During the time that we were inside simply reading or watching television- which, by the way, seems so odd to do now. I realize that I haven't been really relaxed in a while and it was uncomfortable to just sit there and let life go on without really doing anything- Tony's mother kept talking to us or making dinner. His father still has a job at a pharmaceutical company, and so came back later that evening. Tony is unfortunately rather tense around his parents even after the reunion they had the other day. He says it's because he never really liked his parents, but I haven't gotten to talk to his mother or father alone to see what they're like, so I wouldn't know.

We went back to the park in the afternoon and this was the time the area reached it's full capacity. There were people of all ages, from hyper children, to old folk simply enjoying the sunny day. Unfortunately, because it was the busiest time, there was no way for us to really tell if something out of the ordinary was occurring. So we decided to quit and go back to the house due to the both of us disliking crowded places (which we can thank him and his proxies for that).

Dinner was served at the Delmont residence as Tony's father had come home during the time we were gone, and I must say it was the most delicious thing I have eaten in months. I ate two servings before I remembered my love of cooking, something that I had more or less forgotten in all of the excitement, and asked Tony's mother if I could cook with her from now on. She agreed so I'll be able to talk to her more often and hopefully be able to see if anything out of the ordinary has been occurring in the area recently. Tony obviously won't be doing this if his behavior at dinner was any indication. He loves his parents but he can't seem to engage in normal conversation with them or he doesn't know how to interact with them.

Despite all of this we went back a fourth and final time at night. The park was basically empty save for a few young couples we saw. While I didn't see any tall, faceless horrors hanging around in the shadows, I did feel like someone was watching me, which made me nervous enough to finally ask Tony if we could leave. He seemed fine which is a little odd as he's usually the one to be jumpy and ready to sprint at a moments notice.

In conclusion, I think there might be activity in this large town. We're going to keep looking around to see if we can find anything that could give us a lead, but at this point I'm not getting my hopes up. Cynthia, if you're reading this, we're going to find you, baby. It may take us a while, but mommy and daddy are going to figure out a way to get you back and out of that things control.

Take care of yourselves.


Monday, April 4, 2011

The Delmont Family

It was an...interesting reunion. The drive took a while mainly because we had to take quite a few stops due to Tony developing horrible headaches- one case even becoming a migraine. But we finally made it, and let me tell you, the few seconds waiting on the doorstep after knocking the door were the most nerve wracking I've experienced in a while. When Tony's parents finally opened the door, the four of us honestly just stood there for a few seconds taking each other in. I know Tony and I look worse for wear, what with the huge circles under our eyes, unhealthy skin color, dirty clothes, and injuries.

Tony just said, "Mom, Dad, I'm home." And his voice cracked and that was about when everyone burst into tears. Mommy Delmont was more or less sobbing as she had not heard from him in years and I swear I even saw his Father tearing up as well.

Tony and I could only tell them so much. If they knew the whole truth, he would be able to come and find them, something we both agree we don't want to happen. They asked me how I was doing, how I found Tony, if I had managed to hear anything on Cynthia...

We both managed to make a lie during the questioning. We more or less said that it had been pure coincidence meeting up- we found each other at my old school during my "soul searching"- and had decided to look for Cynthia together. His parents thought that was wonderful that I had forgiven him. I don't think that they have any idea that I'm in a relationship with a woman. (Which, by the way Thage, I miss you so much right now...)

We're currently staying with them, but I don't think we'll reside here for long. We're going to try looking around and see if we can find anything in the area. After all, one of his proxies was able to find me back at the beginning when all of this had just started. We're going to check out the park and areas where children are usually at in hopes of even getting a glimpse.

Take care of yourselves.


Friday, April 1, 2011

April Fool's Day

Not exactly an unpleasant one. I remember last year Cynthia actually pranked me by suspending a bucket of water on top of the door. Haha, I actually ended up getting hit in the face with the bucket because I had looked up the moment it began to fall, and a giant bruise formed on my cheek. Cynthia started crying because she thought she had seriously harmed me and called 911 before I could stop her. It was probably the funniest April Fool's Day I ever had.

This year...well, I think Tony saw how upset I was. We stopped to steal- well, we stopped and he stole- some food and took it to a park to eat. I had laid my jacket on the ground because the day wasn't that cool and gone to throw away our trash. We had agreed to try and spend the day relaxing due to the stress that had been slowly building up over the past few days. When I came back and sat down, Tony had, god, he had put a whoopee cushion under my jacket. It was extremely embarrassing and the dolt started hysterically laughing at the face I made, drawing even more attention. I have to admit though, while he did act like a five year old, he cheered me up.

I'm in better spirits because Kay is alright, as is Ava. They've both been through so much, but I feel relieved that they're alive. I've come to the conclusion that while I'm worried for all of you because I see you all as family, I have certain people who I need to be okay for me to be okay.

For instance, Tony. He locked me in the bathroom of the hotel for a several hours while he went to meet our daughter for lunch. I was so angry I wanted to slap him when he finally came back and opened the door, and the fact that he had new injuries made the situation worse. But I don't know what I would do if he were to...die.

Anyway, things have been tense so the joke, while humiliating and stupid, made the day brighter. I do think though that Tony is seeing things that I don't. I know for some reason he can read Cynthia's posts now. I still can't. Why this is, he won't tell me. But I can see him hiding something. I'm going to try and find out, but I think it has something to do with us going back to his parents house. I called them the other day and they said it was fine. It was odd...they aren't shocked by the fact that Tony and I are traveling around together. I'm suspicious, but it's the only lead I can think of right now as to where we can start with finding Cynthia.

I'll try and update as soon as we reach their house.

Take care of yourselves.


Saturday, March 19, 2011


Things have been very quiet lately- I don't know if that's good or bad. Tony and I have been staying in one place for quite a while now, and I haven't seen him anywhere, so I suppose that's a plus to the situation. We're attempting to think of any clues that may help lead us to Cynthia, but so far we're drawing blanks. I'm afraid that Redlight or him will make her do something she'll regret. I'm scared for her.

Any updates on her blog? Well, I mean, I'm unsure if I'll be able to see what you're trying to tell me, but it's worth it to at least attempt, right?

Oh yes, and Tony has been acting more paranoid as of late. It's making me nervous. We haven't seen anyone, so I don't know why he's so tense and always looking like he's ready to bolt. Every time I try to talk to him about it, he always says it's nothing. I wish he would be honest for once.

Take care of yourselves.


Tuesday, March 8, 2011


Thage. I'll try and come back soon if everything permits. I didn't want to leave, but too many people staying at your house causes you to have to perform deals which no one wants. I'm sorry. I

I'm trying really hard not to cry right now because then Tony would know and it would just be awkward and then he'd try to comfort me, but we both know he's not good at that.

I love you, Thage.

Even if we haven't known each other for very long, when you asked me to stay one more day I almost caved in. I would stay with you forever if I could. You're such a wonderful woman and I don't think I deserved to have you fall for me and commit to a relationship.

But...despite everything, Anthony and I have to keep moving forward. We have to find Cynthia. Something could happen to her any day- I wish I didn't have to chose between anyone, I wish this was easy, I wish that these things didn't have to happen! Why?! Dammit it all, I just want to wake up and realize it's all a bad dream and that we're all together and happy, and a family.

Then again, wishful thinking doesn't get anyone anywhere.

We're going to find her. Or she's going to find us. Either way I'm getting my daughter back. And then I'm coming home to you. I promise.

Take care of yourselves.



Hey kids, it's Uncle Tony reminding you not to be dumbasses while effectively ruining Cathy's post. Hehe, I guess I'm gonna go ahead and apologize too, Ava and Reach. I know we left without telling you two anything, but you're both stubborn and would have probably thought of some good reasons as to why we shouldn't pack everything and drive.

Ava, don't be stupid for a while, Reach make sure she's safe but don't do something retarded either. The last thing I need is to come swooping in to save your asses again.

Thage, thank you for taking care of Cathy and I. I don't think we talked all that much but I can tell you're a fighter deep down. Maybe you should think about trying to punch some minions in the face sometime when they come around asking you for addresses to other runners. Dunno, I mean, I know you got the contract or whatever, but when all of this clears up maybe you could join the ranks. Hehe, just food for thought.

Alright, we just stopped for dinner but we're getting ready to move again. Keep your asses outta trouble.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011


So Tony and Reach finally made their way to Thage's house. They've been here for a while now and...well, it was very awkward at first. The last time I saw my husband...ex-husband...whatever he is, I had knocked him out with a broken brick and left him at the hotel. And here he was, somehow found his way back to me in the end. I can't seem to go anywhere without him following, can I?

I'm glad he's alright. He was favoring his left leg so I think he might have gotten more injured than he said on his blog. But that would be just like Tony to keep quiet if he's hurt. He likes to play tough guy. Reach was...well he looked worse for wear. When I first saw him I think I made some sort of noise akin to a mother panicking when she sees her child injured, even if he is technically older than me. He still looks young, and so I'll see him as such most of the time. I asked him if he needed any patching up, but apparently Tony is better at being a mother than me because he had already done a good job of cleaning him up.

Thage gave him some food and

Oh, um, Thage. After that one entry she persuaded me to leave the bathroom and we ended up having quite a long talk about everything we were both feeling. Thage and I are in a relationship now. It's nothing...too serious. I honestly feel like I'm with my first boyfriend again, fumbling to fill up silences and unsure of what to do. I think it'll work out though. We know something could happen to either of us any day, so we're prepared for anything at this point.

Including nosy ex-husbands.

Anthony and I had a nice, lengthy chat about everything that's been happening. Although chat isn't the best word to describe the mood. There were angry words whispered so that we wouldn't bother Thage or Reach, and we went to another room too. We're both stressed because of Cynthia. At this point we've hit dead ends- we can't see anything she writes about and I have a feeling that we won't find her unless she wants to be found. I keep wishing that somehow I would find a hint of something that could help lead me to her, but I'm grasping at air at this point.

What Tony did while we were split up was admirable. He saved multiple people, and one of the problems was caused because of us. (I'm sorry Ava, I still see the Cynthia situation having happened because of our inability to be good parents.) I know himself up over having to leave Ava, but Thage has made a deal that got her back as far as I can see. Not to be rude, but I'm more distracted by my own family at the moment.

A lot has happened over the last week or so too. There are multiple Redlights apparently and that makes me feel very uneasy. Those people have my daughter and they obviously don't care for Anthony and I. He just laughs it off and says they'll never get to us, but I know that we're not invincible. Sometimes I wonder if Tony has lost the ability to fear. I know it sounds ridiculous, but who knows what happened to him during all those years. He won't tell me, just brushes the question away and changes the subject. It makes me frustrated but then he even said it didn't matter because we weren't married anymore and I shouldn't care.

I almost slapped him but I refrained myself from doing so. Violence isn't always the answer, after all. I know he's just under pressure right now. At this point he's the odd man out- it's no secret. Reach and Ava will probably stick together and go off to do their own thing and I'm staying with Thage for now. Two groups with one man in the middle. I don't think he wants any of us alone, keeps mentioning how we'd all be killed in seconds if something happened.

I honestly don't know what to think anymore. I've exhausted myself once more, to the point where it's hard to put ideas together and formulate responses. But I'm not showing weakness, especially in front of Anthony. With the bags under his eyes, it almost seems like he never sleeps. I don't know how you all do it, run day after day and wear yourself down until it's sheer will power moving your legs. I'm envious.

Have there been any updates on Cynthia's blog? Can anyone tell me what she's been doing? I think the last thing I saw was when Ava was, I think, talking to her on her own blog about killing soldiers? I don't know. I was getting only half of the conversation so things became confusing.

I think that's all I really have to say.

Take care of yourselves.


Tuesday, February 22, 2011


We need to talk. You need to fill me in on what happened- no details excluded- so that I can see if I can try to help. Also, our daughter...Redlight said that she's in charge now. You need to be careful, she never did like you, and I'm guessing that she doesn't even more now that this thing is messing with her head.

And, um, we never really divorced because you disappeared, but back when we were at the hotel, you agreed with me when I said it didn't feel like we were a couple anymore. More like friends. We love each other and care about the other more than anything, but we couldn't ever...well, live together again. I'm not getting rid of the ring, it's just that

Today I kissed Thage on the cheek. Well, more like a few minutes ago. And now I've locked myself in her bathroom with my laptop because I messed up- it's just that she's been so kind, the kindest person I've ever met. And, well, I've developed a crush on her, I suppose. I can't help it and I don't know what to do now. I don't want to leave the bathroom because she probably hates me now and

please Tony, I need to talk to you. Please.


Saturday, February 19, 2011

Well, it worked.

I feel asleep for so long Thage had to wake me up. But it was nice. I will say this, the main dream I remember having was an "ideal date" dream. I think most of the girls around here should know what I'm talking about- nondescript man takes you to the place you would want a real guy to take you and does everything perfectly. But, um, I remember the man being Thage instead. Kind of awkward when she woke me up, I think. Thage, if you're reading this, you seem to be invading my dreams, haha! Anyway, I feel refreshed now, but as soon as I woke up, reality came crashing back in. Everything that needs to be done is now front and center in my mind again, and I'm worrying myself sick again.

Back to normal, I guess. I've been reading up on him during my stay here. I think everyone knows by now that he's been sighted over the years since...well, a very long time ago. It's shocking and, to be honest, the scariest thing about him, I think. He can do so many things to hurt you, sure, and he has these abilities and presence that defy everything about our world, yes. But the fact that he's been around since God knows when, luring people to the shadows and driving them insane with paranoia and fear...he's something ancient, something that is way out of our league. And we're trying to combat him, figure out weaknesses, and generally do something before our time runs out.

I'm not a fighter. I never have been, never will be. I just want to figure out how to get my daughter back safe and sound. I can't fight this thing. And maybe this is being a coward. But this creature cannot be defined or figured out because it's something that seems to defy reality. So honestly, I don't ever want to try and find anything about it. I'll stick with the people.

Take care of yourselves.


Friday, February 18, 2011


I've never even thought of trying it, but Thage suggested that we do give it a whirl to see if it could unwind some of the stress that's been building up. I guess the reason she suggested it is because I haven't been sleeping and I've been trying to read all these books on him and learn some fencing for defense so I'm not totally helpless. We'll see if this works. I trust Thage, so hopefully it'll turn out well. Wish me luck.

Take care of yourselves.


Tuesday, February 15, 2011


I just received one. The return address...I couldn't see it. Before I get to that, Ava, you have my daughter, correct? I believe I read everything right and that she is currently still under his control? Apparently some proxy, or even that thing himself, has been killing people because you have her.

The e-mail I got only a few minutes ago-it told me everything. I know what apparently the forth victim said, maybe in shorter words, I don't care. The little boy is younger than Cynthia and he wasn't even involved but because of me

I can either choose to give my daughter back to it or send an innocent in. I think I know how you felt now, Ava. Choosing between Reach and another. God I wish I had a plan right now. I wish I could talk to Tony, but I think I read that he's currently racing to get to you two. Surprisingly, I don't feel scared, or anything like that. I'm calm.

You all need to find Robert. He's priority in all of this because he can help people. So everyone should divert their attention to that detail above everything else. I'm going to give Cynthia back to him. The boy should not be harmed because he shouldn't be mixed up in all of this. Haha, you made a hard decision that night in the forest, didn't you, Tony? I get it now. I'm sorry for getting so angry at you. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do.

I'll get her back. I'll get her back myself. From Redlight, from any minion, from the boss himself. But I'm growing up, I think. Which sounds stupid because soon I'll have a full head of grey hair. But I mean it. I'm learning from all of you. And that's why I can give her back and promise her that one day I'll be the one taking her away from whomever it is.

Take care of yourselves.


Sunday, February 13, 2011

Dear Tony

...happy valentines day,

I'm sorry for hitting you even though you deserved it. was nice to see you again you jerk. I missed you. You don't know how much.

The blog time is's v-day over here already. 

Hope yours is good.

Take care of yourself.


Saturday, February 12, 2011

What happened.

Where to begin?

A lot has happened over the last few days. I'm sorry I made you all worry- I didn't mean to, I just didn't have time to respond or get on. I guess I'll start from the restaurant since I wasn't making that much sense (but I'll summarize it only briefly).

I went to the restaurant to check it out and see if there was anything obvious- I even bribed the teenagers working to let me have at least ten minutes in the back without them bothering me. It's amazing how far a few dollars can take you. When I stepped into the employee area, Elijah caught me off guard. He must have been waiting...somehow- I don't know. It doesn't make sense to me either, but he was there and he was spouting all of this gibberish about how he had failed the first time and so he was to make sure I received the next clue. He had sewn the mailbox number under his skin. Oh God, I know he's a nurse and could figure out the least painful way to do this, but it still had to hurt so bad! And then he told me that I had to kill him and open him up. Well, I was a tiny bit smarter this time around and had put a broken brick into my purse. I swung it at him mid sentence and caught him in the head. It knocked him out and after I dragged him outside to the dumpster I rummaged around in his pockets for something sharp.

At the the time I could only think that I was doing this for Cynthia, that it was okay that I was about to cut an innocent man open because it was all for my daughter. Anything for her, right? He had a knife on his person and I had to cut through the stitches as carefully as I could, peel back the skin and reach inside him to fish the piece out. I was expecting something to break open at any second- I don't know how I managed it, but it was probably because it wasn't wormed in between anything. It was more on the surface. There was blood can't do something like that without getting messy. And I was so afraid that he was going to bleed out- I didn't want to kill him. So I took his shirt off and tied it around the wound as best as I could and tried to get him into a position where it would slow the blood. Afterwords I ran back to my car and typed up that message. I was a wreck, and I probably shouldn't have taken off right after because I nearly crashed the car a few times.

I drove to the man's house. It was located in the middle of the woods. It was an incredibly stupid idea that nearly got me killed.

Initially I went into the house. More graffiti had been added over the years, but I could still pick out the words my friends and I had written on the walls. At this point I honestly wasn't sure what I was supposed to do, or if someone was going to show up. That was when I heard her calling for me from out in the woods. My baby...she was alive. I ended up trying to follow her voice and wandered around lost in the forest for who knows how long. Eventually she stopped calling for me and I kept trekking forwards. I came upon a picture in one of the many mud puddles of my husband and I's wedding day. We looked so happy...

When I leaned down to pick it up, this scarred man (I didn't get a good enough look when I was running away, but he had this brutal wound around one of his eyes) came up behind me and tried to hold my face under the muddy water. I panicked and managed to elbow him enough to break free and sprint in a random direction. Unfortunately I wasn't even wearing the proper clothing- I had dressed for the restaurant not a hike, and so I was running around in a skirt and flats. The scarred man chased me, made me even more scared than I already was, but eventually he vanished just like her voice. And I realized that no matter how long I ran towards the tree line, I never got any closer to getting out of the woods. This thing essentially had me running in circles, and I wore myself out.

I don't know how long it took me to finally stop stumbling around blindly, but when I did I curled up into a ball and huddled under a large tree. I was so so scared, lost, sore, hungry, and lonely. I think I started crying at some point, and I had, for some reason, not dropped the picture during all of this. Instead I clutched it close and refused to let go. I sat there as the sun went down and darkness settled. It was really then that I realized how stupid I had been running into this head first without proper guidance or planning. I was trapped in the woods alone, and he wasn't letting me leave.

That was when Cynthia stepped out from behind a tree. My lurched when I saw her, and I was flooded with relief, joy at seeing my daughter after so long, and even though I hate to say it, a smidgen of fear at what might happen. I was right to be hesitant. She...she told me to look at my watch. The hands had somehow jammed, and they were stuck at 11:11. Then she told me to make a wish. And she had this smile on her face, like it was the greatest thing in the world and then I realized she didn't step out from behind a tree. It was him. He was just standing there and, I assume now, watching me with that blank face...his goddamn face...that's the worst part. There's nothing there. It's just smooth and that's why it's so terrifying. You don't know what it's thinking, and if it feels, what it's feeling. It's like the feeling of dread you get whenever you're about to get results back and you aren't sure if they'll be good or bad. The coin could land on either side and you'll never know until he makes his move.

I actually started screaming for help at this point. My throat was raw from crying and breathing so harshly, but I just...screamed and screamed for someone, anyone to find me and help me because, God, I didn't want to die. Cynthia just kept smiling and she took a step back towards him, gesturing for me to follow her. I think she said something along the lines of, “Now we're a happy family.” And...I actually stood up and started to follow her. At this point I thought there was no way out of this, that it was over and I might as well end things. I know you all will probably be upset about this, but it's all I could think at the time.

And then all I hear is, “Get away from my goddamn wife!”.



That...insufferable jackass he just...out of no where...he football tackled me-knocked my head into a tree or something I wager because everything went black at this point.

Ha. Haha. I mean, really? Of all things that could have happened, of all the people who could've saved me it was him. My husband. Anthony Delmont.

Let me just finish before I begin to rant- I woke up in a motel room. It was mine, so I'm guessing he looked through my pockets and found my key. He also managed to find the car keys as well, because it's still with me and in one piece. When I saw him...well, to be frank, I thought he was a proxie and tried to beat him over the head with the motel lamp. But as soon as he started was him. My Anthony. He sounded as grumpy as ever, haha...

And get this, he didn't cheat on me. Oh yes, we had a nice long chat about what happened to him during those ten/eleven years. No, there was no woman he ran off with (though he did look vaguely uncomfortable when I asked him if he'd been with anyone during the time he was gone, I can only guess what that means) but it was because of Slenderman that he left. Apparently he saw him during the year we were married and after I had Cynthia he was afraid that we'd be pulled into his mess too and split. Hah. That did so much.

He more or less kept me hostage to the room, and honestly I didn't want to go outside for a while. I was scared I would see him now that I had had my first encounter with him face to no-face. But that man...he just annoys me so much! I couldn't take it! I don't know how you people put up with him! Yes, you heard me right, apparently he has his own blog and he's friends, or acquaintances or, hell, even arch enemies for all I care with some of you. Said he'd been keeping track of me through Ava and yet he couldn't say a goddamn word to me to tell me he was okay.

Tony. That's what he goes by, I believe. I don't know if you all recognize this, and honestly I don't care. My ex-husband is a jerk, and that's all I need to know., I actually did knock him out. He kept saying I couldn't run off on my own because it was too dangerous, and while I agree, I'm not about to suddenly let him back into my life, just like that. So the brick came in handy again and I left him on the bed (which he doesn't deserve) and took off.

Tony, if you're reading this, honey, leave me alone. I don't want you in my life again. I don't care if you ran because it was good for me. I was better off without you and I'm going to keep it that way.

So, yes. That's what happened. I'm sore, I'm furious, and I'm still looking for Cynthia. I lost my chance and now I have to start again. I will find her, but next time I won't be caught off guard. Next time I will bring her back, I promise.

Take care of yourselves.


Friday, February 11, 2011

We have some catching up to do, don't we?

So much has happened. To me, to you all, to my husband, to my child. I'm going to try and write a summary. If you have any questions, ask them now and I'll try to answer. I'm sorry to you all but I have to be frank right now.

And I have a question of my own: what is going on with Reach and Redlight? Is he really...going to...well, push him?


Tuesday, February 8, 2011


Went to the restaurant have to type slow breathing too fast right now.

Bribed workers to let me look in back Elijah was waiting said I had to kill him if I wanted to the next clue. He sewed the thing into his stomach. Stupid nurse under control can't think for himself. Had put a brick in purse and knocked him out with it instead. Had to cut


had to cut open his stitches and reach in and pull the piece out without harming his organs. Dragged him outside and left him with pressure on wound. Ran back to car covered in blood now I look like a murderer hands won't stop shaking might be going into shock

the final clue is the number to the old man's house that friends and I snuck into in high school. It's his plate from the mailbox and the house is in the middle of the woods where he lurks shit.

Okay, I'm calming down now. Breath in, breath out. I have to go to this house, you guys. It's so obviously a trap but this is probably the chance I've been trying to get. I'm going now- the drive isn't far.

I know it's risky, and I know it feels like everything has been happening so fast. I feel like they have too. In fact, I think the events were purposely quickened to happen to me sooner so that Cynthia and I could find each other faster. That's not a good sign, but it's a sign nonetheless. The house is in the middle of the woods. I know something will probably happen while I'm there and it's a stupid idea, but I'm going. I'm telling you all in case something happens and I don't come back. If I die, or get taken or turned into a proxy, promise me you all will find Cynthia. She matters more.

Haha, this kinda feels like I'm walking to the gallows or something. I shouldn't be smiling but I am. If I go down I'll do it fighting. So much really has changed in only a couple weeks, hasn't it?

Take care of yourselves.


Monday, February 7, 2011

I'm okay

I'm sorry to make you all panic you guys. Everything was fine until I started hearing laughing children- obviously I was scared but when I kept trying to type the laughter turned into this high pitched squeal, almost like a siren. It was so loud and before I knew it, my ears and nose were gushing blood and I was barely able to post before I slid out of my chair and collapsed on the ground. Everything after that goes black. I honestly just woke up about a half an hour ago to clean my face up. I looked like a walking crime scene and I'm unsure how I'm going to get the bloodstains out of the carpet.

But I have important news: I remember.

I don't know why he made me suddenly recall everything that happened, but for some reason he did. My parents were killed by him while we were at the park during my seventh birthday. We were playing frisbee and my mom threw it too far and caused dad to go search in the woods for it. A few moments later she followed to give him a hand and told me to wait where I was. After about an hour of sitting there in the hot sun and wondering where they were, I finally went to check. I wandered around in the woods for hours, growing more and more lost every second that passed by. It wasn't too long before the sun began to go down. And it wasn't until after that I found them hung from trees, stomachs ripped open and organs pooling out.

I stumbled on them because I slipped in their pool of blood that had formed underneath their bodies. The smell...I can remember it now. It made me throw up everything in the little hotel toilet. And you know what? They were holding hands, the bodies I mean. The two of them went out together, which is at least a small condolence to the pain they must have felt.

I don't know why he attacked them. I remember myself going into shock, walking mechanically back to the parking lot in time for a small family to spot me and the mother to promptly start screaming when I walked into the light. I know he was behind me. I can almost feel him now, watching from the cover of the trees where my parents hung dead from the branches. Everything is so vivid in my mind, like it happened only yesterday. I suppose that's an effect from a faceless monster ripping my mind apart to drag the memories from the recesses of my brain.

Why did he do that?

Whatever the case I know that I never had contact with him until that night. After that I never saw him again. My parents must have somehow been connected as well, but to what extent, I have no idea.

The point in all of this is that tomorrow I'm going to look for that clue. By all means I should be a blubbering mess, and for a little while I was. I had huddled up on the bathroom floor in my blood and puke and simply cried for who knows how long. But crying doesn't solve anything. That thing that took my parents has my daughter. Everything is very clear right now. I'm not backing down. Sure I'll bleed and bruise, yes my bones can break, I may even choke and drown on my own vomit, but he's not going to rob me of my will to fight.

That son of a bitch took my parents, my daughter, and from what I'm finally suspecting, he's going to try and take my husband too, asshole that he was. There's no other person that that third stick figure could be because I still love him despite his cheating on me. So I'm going to find this clue and then find him. And if Slenderman gets in my way, well, he's going to get an earful.

Take care of yourselves.


No luck

I've had a headache for about an hour now- I think he might be close. Trying to bring back the memories isn't working and I really have no idea what to do. Ouch, might actually be developing a migraine of some sort. I'll keep working at this as I've been doing all day oh shit my head I don't think headaches are supposed to be this intense ouhc it hurts godam shit im bleeding oh fuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc


I think I'm starting to get what I'm supposed to remember. After a conversation with Kay, I've concluded that the dreams I've been having aren't really nightmares but memories. My mind is attempting to show me what I've forgotten, and it's working slowly but surely. The main dream I've been having has been my parents and I in the park.

Oh...I guess I should tell you all now because I told Kay I would: my parents are dead. Not only that but I can't remember anything around my seventh birthday and the years before that. It's all a hazy mess but it's slowly starting to realign. I've been pouring over it all day, attempting to bring back something that will just make it all click into place. Thus far I've been able to gather that we were in the park when my parents disappeared and I think I followed to look for them. Something happened when I went into the woods, and it's probably because of him.

I don't know how I lost my memory or why though. It could have been trauma, but I'm unsure of that yet. I'm going to keep working at pulling these memories out from the confines of my mind and put them in place. So far I'm getting bits and pieces, but nothing that really strikes me as odd. I haven't even seen a glimpse of him in anything, so I suppose that could be a good sign.

Any tips on getting your memory back?

Take care of yourselves.


Sunday, February 6, 2011

Another clue

I already went to the library early this morning. I was all nerves and was ready to bolt at the first sign of anything out of the ordinary. The lack of sound in the library really worked on my paranoia as well- silence does not do well with me, it seems.

The good news is that no one attacked me while I was there, there wasn't a glimpse of anything even slightly related to him. The bad news is this led right to another clue or whatever these things are.

The book I had to find was older than most because it was filled with newspaper clippings of the obituary section. I don't even know why something like this would exist and who would read it, but it was there when I went to check. There was a napkin in the back from a diner I worked in while I was in high school. I'm guessing that's where I'll be headed next.

I flipped through the book rather quickly while I was there and so didn't exactly examine every page. It might have been significant so I...well, stole the book. I had to sneak it into a bathroom and throw it out of the window and then go around to pick it up, but it worked.

Currently I'm sitting here wondering when I should leave. I could make the next city I need to go to by night fall, but then I also feel reluctant to move yet again so quickly. Any ideas?

Take care of yourselves.


Saturday, February 5, 2011

I'm here

I reached the city and booked a room for one night at a hotel. I don't plan on staying very long this time around. Last time, even though it was only a few days, it still felt dangerous, like someone was watching me constantly. I haven't been able to sleep much lately because of it. I'll try and rest for a couple hours tonight though because I know I need it. I look like a wreck and that's not very helpful for blending in.

Tomorrow I'll be checking the library. Here's to hoping nothing goes wrong.

And, by the way, you all still have nightmares of him, right? It's not just a symptom for the awareness in the beginning?

Take care of yourselves.


Driving again

I'm heading over to the town where the library is- I'm going to check it out. I know you all say it's a trap, and I know it probably is, but if I don't follow these clues or whatever the heck they are, more people might get hurt and I may never find my daughter. After all, the one who wants to find her the most is me. I think that's about it, so I'll just post some responses now.

To Vivi- Okay, that's good to know. I wasn't sure.
Yes, just the idea of ending another person's's a horrible thought.

To Will- There's no where else I can really go. If this helps me find my daughter, well, I'm willing to take the risk. Yes, I read. Are you okay?

To Kay- Oh, it's nice to meet another woman who's in the older regions. Huh, I've never heard of the other man, but I do know about Zeke. It's actually great to know that there's someone older than me in all of this mess- it makes me feel young.
I don't know if I should be excited or nervous. It's obviously a means to make me even more sad and angry and it's working.

To Thage- Thank you for the encouragement, Thage. I'll try.

Hopefully nothing will happen when I go to this place. I'll update when I reach the town tonight.

Take care of yourselves.


Thursday, February 3, 2011

The school

Okay. Okay I’m calm now. Oh shit, no I’m still crying. God dammit it’s been a couple hours and I’m still jumping at shadows and I can’t stop the tears- alright, I’ll stop talking about that. Okay everything is fine. Just going to tell what happened now.

I-I went to the school. There was some kind of school fair going on so I guess it had ended early. But there were still so many people there- parents, children, friends, and staff. I got lost so easily, I didn’t know who to ask or go to. I guess I was just wandering around looking lost. Everyone was preoccupied with getting their activities done and there was no one to help. I started to panic- it looks like this constant paranoia has given me a fear of crowds and I was scared because I began to think that everyone there was hollowed out.
Right before I had a panic attack, this man…he came up to talk to me. I just

I dated him in college. Elijah Macintire. He went to another college, med school, was going to be a nurse or doctor or something.

At first I was happy to see a familiar face. He acted like he was surprised too, asked me how I was and if I was looking for anything. I said no, I was just checking out the school for my daughter. He answered…”Are you sure don’t want to know where Cynthia is?”


He made me come with him into the school- he threatened to shoot all the kids at the fair and their families and friend and I was so scared and so alone and I didn’t know what to do- I blanked out, I forgot what weapons I had with me and what to do in these situations. He took me to one of the family bathrooms with a gun pressing so lightly against my back like it almost wasn’t there but it was I could’ve died

When he locked us in, Elijah took out this envelope out of his pocket and waved it in my face. Told me that if I wanted it I’d have to come and get it. I don’t know as soon as he did that, everything just snapped back into perspective. I remembered the pepper spray I had in my purse and I managed to get him in the eyes and elbow him. He dropped the envelope and fell and somehow I fell down too and everything starts to become a blur here- he was trying to roll me over and pin me down and he hit me in the face with his gun, but I grabbed the changing station tray and smashed it down onto his head. Somehow, somehow I got the gun from him and I just kept hitting him with it over and over.

It took me a few minutes to realize that he was knocked out and when I did I grabbed the envelope, stuck the gun in my purse and ran out and to my car as fast as I could.

When I got back…I got a look at myself in the mirror…I didn’t look like me at all. I looked so crazy, ready to kill someone. I hate this feeling- I hate what I’m becoming. I just fought a man I was in love with at one point in my life and might have permanently injured him- I could have broken a bone or even killed him! And it’s all for this library card. Yes- that’s all that was in the god damn envelope, a library card from the library I went to when I was in middle school.

I just want to scream at the top of my lungs and hit something because I’m going insane. This thing is going to drive me crazy before I can get Cynthia back. Or it’s going to turn me into a cold blooded murderer and I don’t want that. Shit, I can’t stop crying.

I have to go right now

Take care of yourselves