Wednesday, March 2, 2011


So Tony and Reach finally made their way to Thage's house. They've been here for a while now and...well, it was very awkward at first. The last time I saw my husband...ex-husband...whatever he is, I had knocked him out with a broken brick and left him at the hotel. And here he was, somehow found his way back to me in the end. I can't seem to go anywhere without him following, can I?

I'm glad he's alright. He was favoring his left leg so I think he might have gotten more injured than he said on his blog. But that would be just like Tony to keep quiet if he's hurt. He likes to play tough guy. Reach was...well he looked worse for wear. When I first saw him I think I made some sort of noise akin to a mother panicking when she sees her child injured, even if he is technically older than me. He still looks young, and so I'll see him as such most of the time. I asked him if he needed any patching up, but apparently Tony is better at being a mother than me because he had already done a good job of cleaning him up.

Thage gave him some food and

Oh, um, Thage. After that one entry she persuaded me to leave the bathroom and we ended up having quite a long talk about everything we were both feeling. Thage and I are in a relationship now. It's nothing...too serious. I honestly feel like I'm with my first boyfriend again, fumbling to fill up silences and unsure of what to do. I think it'll work out though. We know something could happen to either of us any day, so we're prepared for anything at this point.

Including nosy ex-husbands.

Anthony and I had a nice, lengthy chat about everything that's been happening. Although chat isn't the best word to describe the mood. There were angry words whispered so that we wouldn't bother Thage or Reach, and we went to another room too. We're both stressed because of Cynthia. At this point we've hit dead ends- we can't see anything she writes about and I have a feeling that we won't find her unless she wants to be found. I keep wishing that somehow I would find a hint of something that could help lead me to her, but I'm grasping at air at this point.

What Tony did while we were split up was admirable. He saved multiple people, and one of the problems was caused because of us. (I'm sorry Ava, I still see the Cynthia situation having happened because of our inability to be good parents.) I know himself up over having to leave Ava, but Thage has made a deal that got her back as far as I can see. Not to be rude, but I'm more distracted by my own family at the moment.

A lot has happened over the last week or so too. There are multiple Redlights apparently and that makes me feel very uneasy. Those people have my daughter and they obviously don't care for Anthony and I. He just laughs it off and says they'll never get to us, but I know that we're not invincible. Sometimes I wonder if Tony has lost the ability to fear. I know it sounds ridiculous, but who knows what happened to him during all those years. He won't tell me, just brushes the question away and changes the subject. It makes me frustrated but then he even said it didn't matter because we weren't married anymore and I shouldn't care.

I almost slapped him but I refrained myself from doing so. Violence isn't always the answer, after all. I know he's just under pressure right now. At this point he's the odd man out- it's no secret. Reach and Ava will probably stick together and go off to do their own thing and I'm staying with Thage for now. Two groups with one man in the middle. I don't think he wants any of us alone, keeps mentioning how we'd all be killed in seconds if something happened.

I honestly don't know what to think anymore. I've exhausted myself once more, to the point where it's hard to put ideas together and formulate responses. But I'm not showing weakness, especially in front of Anthony. With the bags under his eyes, it almost seems like he never sleeps. I don't know how you all do it, run day after day and wear yourself down until it's sheer will power moving your legs. I'm envious.

Have there been any updates on Cynthia's blog? Can anyone tell me what she's been doing? I think the last thing I saw was when Ava was, I think, talking to her on her own blog about killing soldiers? I don't know. I was getting only half of the conversation so things became confusing.

I think that's all I really have to say.

Take care of yourselves.



  1. I'm glad you seem to be feeling, well not better, but less horrible? She updated a few days ago, a lot of nursery rhymes that I'm sure mean something to her, but I have no idea what they might mean to the rest of us.

    Even with everything that has happened to her, she's still there under it all. She made a point of commenting on my blog and asking if I was ok after something unpleasant happened.

  2. Cynthia's most recent post was mainly a bunch of nursery rhymes with certain words crossed out or bolded. i'm not sure what to make of it. one of them did catch my eye though: it spoke of "Anthony Delmont sat on the wall, Anthony Delmont had a great fall..." dunno if that's a statement or a warning.

  3. To Kay- Yes, I don't think I'll ever really feel fantastic, but less worse is a good way to describe everything right now. Do you think you could copy and paste what she wrote in a comment? It's worked before, so maybe it'll work now...
    Did she really? It makes me wonder if she's actually alright...which sounds insane because she's with him and his proxies.

    To Ryuu- Oh God, I need to see this somehow...

  4. that's a good idea maybe She can help you silly heads with the puzzles. c:

  5. We'll start with one. If you can see it I'll do the rest.

    anthony delmont sat on a wall
    anthony delmont had a great fall
    and all the Queen's horses
    and all the Queen's men,
    won't be able to put tony together again.

  6. I can see it. It's...oh my God, I'm going to go get Anthony he needs to see this. If there are any others, please put them here.

  7. Comment bomb incoming:


    anthony delmont sat on a wall
    anthony delmont had a great fall
    and all the Queen's horses
    and all the Queen's men,
    won't be able to put tony together again.

    Ladybird, Ladybird, fly away home,
    Your house is on fire,
    Your children shall burn!

    there was a crooked man and he walked a crooked mile,
    he found a crooked sixpence upon a crooked stile.
    he bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse.
    and they all lived together in a little crooked house.

    a wise old owl lived in an oak
    the more he saw the less he spoke
    the less he spoke the more he heard
    why can't we all be like that wise old bird?

    three blind mice. three blind mice.
    see how they run. see how they run.
    they all ran after the farmer's wife,
    who cut off their tails with a carving knife,
    did you ever see such a sight in your life,
    as three blind mice.

    little boy blue come blow your horn,
    the sheep's in the meadow the cow's in the corn.
    but where's the boy who looks after the sheep?
    he's under a haystack fast asleep.
    will you wake him? no, not i - for if i do, he's sure to cry.

    there once were two cats of kilkenny,
    each thought there was one cat too many;
    so they fought and they fit,
    and they scratched and they bit,
    till excepting their nails
    and the tips of their tails
    instead of two cats
    there weren't any.

    pussycat, pussycat, where have you been?
    I've been to london to visit the queen.
    pussycat, pussycat, what did you there?
    i frightened a little mouse under her chair.

    there was a woman lived under the hill,
    and if she's not gone she lives there still.
    baked apples she sold, and cranberry pies,
    and she's the woman that never told lies.

    curly locks, curly locks,
    will you be mine?
    you shall not wash dishes,
    nor feed the swine,
    but sit on a cushion
    and sew a fine seam,
    and sup upon strawberries,
    sugar, and cream.

    eeny, meeny, miny, moe
    catch a tiger by the toe
    if he hollers let him go,
    eeny, meeny, miny, moe
    my Mother told me
    to pick the very best one
    and you are not it.
    out goes one
    out goes two
    out goes another one
    and that is you.

    birds of a feather flock together,
    and so will pigs and swine;
    rats and mice will have their choice,
    and so will i have mine.

    as white as milk and not milk,
    as green as grass and not grass,
    as red as blood and not blood,
    as black as soot and not soot.

    cee cee my playmate come out and play with me and bring your dollys three climb up my apple tree, slide down my rain barrel into my cellar door and we'll be jolly friends for ever more more more more more
    idon'twanttoplayatyourhouseidon'tlikeyouanymoreyoucan'thollardownmyrain barrellyoucan'tslidemycellardoor.

  8. As a side not she also told me that things that aren't fun are going to be happening to you guys soon. Please be careful.

  9. These...these are all nursery rhymes that I taught to her when she was a little girl. She had an entire book filled with them.

    I don't know why she would be listing so many different ones. I wonder if she's trying to say something?

    Christ, the fact that I can see all of this is making my hands shake.

  10. that's not even getting into all the cross-outs and other edits she makes to the poems. "crooked" is italicized, words associated with fire are bolded, "children" is underlined... and that's just the first two or three verses. "three" gets underlined as well, and the entire penultimate paragraph is crossed out. there seems to be a pattern, but i probably won't be able to make heads or tails of it until whatever it's referring to has already happened... if it refers to anything at all, that is.

  11. Would you be willing to tell me everything that has been edited, Ryuu? I don't know if this will take a while or not, but it would be nice to know everything there is about this post.

    I think...I think all of the rhymes are different situations. But maybe they're referring to us? The first post is about Anthony, so...maybe...the rest are for other people?

  12. Cathy, I'm emailing you a word document. It should have all the edits in tact.

  13. mention here if you can see that email or not. if you can't, i'll list the edits.

  14. I just got the e-mail and I was able to see them. Thank you for helping though, Ryuu.

  15. hmm... the idea of each of the verses referring to a person has merit. let's see:

    paragraph 1: Tony
    paragraph 2: you, Cathy
    paragraph 3: Anorexic Associate
    paragraphs 4-6: no idea
    paragraph 7: oddly, the first picture i get is of redlight and slendy going at it
    paragraph 8: possibly Ava?

    and the rest could be any number of things we don't know about. i'll mention if i get any other bits of random inspiration though. symbolism is a hobby of mine.

  16. Hmmm, I agree with you on the first and second. The second one makes sense after...yes, anyway, the third one I'm not so sure...when I think of him I don't think of crooked, I think fluidity. But that's just me and I could be wrong.
    Four- perhaps someone who doesn't speak much? Or hasn't spoken in a while?
    Five- honestly not sure. Maybe it's referring to three people because there are three mice?
    Six- I don't know. This is frustrating.
    Seven- Hmmmm...maybe. I wish there were some clues that could help us figure this out easier.
    Eight- Yes, the mentioning of London makes me think of Ava as well. But I'm unsure because it says visiting London.
    Nine- Well it's obviously a girl. But who, I'm unsure.
    Ten- Someone with curly hair?
    Eleven- Whoever this is, it doesn't sound very good. In fact, it sounds more ominous than any of the others. Did you get that feeling?
    Twelve- Hmmmm...maybe...groups of people?
    Thirteen- This is a poem describing something, so I imagine she's describing someone she knows.
    Fourteen- I think...I think she's talking about herself. I used to say this rhyme in particular to her because "Cee cee" sounded like a play on her name.

    God, this is confusing...

  17. Perhaps four is Thage then?

  18. 1-Tony, obviously.

    2-You, obviously.

    3-I'm gonna go with Slender Man on this one.

    4-The bird references as well as the rhyme itself recall Thage (especially since I have previously referred to her as the Broken Bird), but it could just as easily be me or Robert.

    5-The three makes me think of Ava, Tony and I, especially since the post was made shortly after we broke Robert out.

    6-Haven't a clue.

    7-Maybe I'm reading into the "Kilkenny" bit too much, but possibly a reference to Ava and I? It seems consistent with Redlight's apparent attempts to make Ava hate me. Maybe he wanted us to destroy each other.

    8-I'm inclined to either say Ava or the proxy that he sent after her, with Ava as the Queen.

    9, 10, 11, 12, 13-No idea.

    14-I trust your take on it, Cathy.

    Also, whenever you wake up and read this, I'm making breakfast in the kitchen. A traditional Irish fry.

  19. To Kay- That could be it...I can't shake off the feeling that Thage is mentioned in one of these due to recent developments between us.

    To Yggdrasil- M...that...kind of makes sense. I haven't kept up, but has he posted recently?

    To Reach- One to four sounds about right, especially if she was referred to as the Broken Bird.
    Five- That might be it. Are there any other groups of three that she would know about?
    Seven- That actually might be right. And if Cynthia is trying to follow Redlight's lead, then she would want the same thing to happen, right?
    Eight through thirteen- I'm still guessing, but I'm hoping maybe she'll write something soon that you all can see.
    Fourteen- I can't help but feel I'm right. I don't know...

    I'll be down in a few minutes then, that sounds delicious.

  20. Nil is so full of references to absence and nothing that it's annoying, but thirteen makes me think of him. It's highly unlikely though.

  21. okay Mommy i made some clues. i know You can't see this but everyone else can. maybe they can help You but probably not.

  22. Quoth Cynthia just now:
    "okay Mommy i made some clues. i know You can't see this but everyone else can. maybe they can help You but probably not."

    And she's got a new post, with a CRAPTON more stuff. in actual code this time, not just rhymes.

    uhh... Kay, if you've got Cathy's email address, send Cynthia's new post to her. hopefully you guys can figure all this out. I might enlist Scott as well, he's pretty good at this stuff.

  23. I translated what few of them whose codes I could actually identify. One or two I don't recognize at all (though I'm admittedly new at this), and others appear to use a substitution cypher, which I am absolutely crap at.

    Translated lines include:

    3rd code: they will fall they will fall watch them run watch them run someone's going to die someone's going to die here we come here we come

    5th code: are they dead or are they alive? did they find something that will save us? were they insane or did they see truth?

    8th code: that man he is not one but many. what should i think?

    10th code: you all pull me this way and that. but there is only One that i want to be with.

    11th code: Do & you & know & him

    At a guess, I'd say that something big is on the way. I don't need to tell you guys to be careful, but I will. Having so many prominent runners/fighters in one place is dangerous.

    Stay safe, guys. Don't die on us now.

  24. We think alike Hakurei, I sent it to her the second I saw it in my feed. Nice job on the translations, codes are by far not my forte.

  25. If you can identify the code, you can probably find a translator for it online. I'll try working on the substitution cyphers tonight, though again, I'm not very good at those.

  26. To Yggdrasil- Unfortunately, I don't know who you're talking about.

    To Ryuu- I can't see what you were trying to quote. I'm guessing it's something about the e-mail Kay just sent me...yes, yes it is, isn't it?
    I know cussing isn't a good habit to get into, but, /shit/ that doesn't sound good. I'll talk to the others about all of this, maybe they'll have an idea of what we should do.

    To Kay- Thank you for the e-mail. I'm trying to figure out anything I can at the moment. Tony just came in and I'm making him try and work some of this out too. He's probably better than me.

  27. Hmm... So you can see the poems and emails and things we send you, but you can't see the random comments of Cynthia's that I copy/paste for you verbatim?

    Cathy, I've been meaning to ask you: What, exactly, is the experience of "not seeing" something? Is it like a blind spot in your vision? Does it simply look like I didn't type anything in that space? If I were to include the url of Cynthia's blog in this comment, would you be able to see it? If you were, and you clicked on it, what would the resulting page look like for you? A blank screen? An error message? The blue screen of death?

    Cynthia left a comment on your blog before she posted her codes, which are indeed what Kay sent you and what I've been working on translating. Paraphrased, she basically said that if you wanted hints, she would give them, and maybe we could help you figure them out, since you can't see them.

    Now, can you see that paraphrased message?

    Here is an experimental url. It leads to Cynthia's blog. Can you see it?

    When you look for these things, have someone who can see them watch your eyes as you do so. See if your eyes sort of slide over or ignore what you can't see; rather than things being invisible to you, you might just be ignoring their presence somehow.

    Goodness, the more I think about this, the more questions I have, but we'll start with this. That is, if you're willing. I'd really like to know how this works. If we can figure out its limitations, maybe there's a way around it.

  28. @Hakurei Cathy and I have been experimenting with this for a little while now. She and Cynthia's father cannot see the blog if they click the link or c/p it into a browser. They just see a blank page. I haven't tried any other experiments with Tony, but Cathy cannot see comments Cynthia leaves or us c/ping them, just blank spots where the comments should be. Interesting theory on it being a power of ignorance rather then a blinding.

    Occasionally whatever power Cynthia uses to keep Cathy from seeing her gets lifted and then she can see specific posts or comments. Paraphrasing always seems to work, it's exact c/p that she can't see.

    I suspect that the limitation is a bloodline thing since no one else has had Cynthia's words disappear on them, but for obvious reasons its a hard one to test.

  29. To Ryuu- I had always assumed that it was just him allowing me to see some things to taunt Tony and I. The fact that we're only able to see puzzles and codes tells me that we're not supposed to know much else.

    The experience? It's not a blind spot, my vision doesn't suddenly go black or anything like that. It's like there's a blank spot on the page. Huge gaps where words should probably be, but I don't see them. Anthony tells me it's the same for him, but you'd have to ask him what it's like if you want to know more about how it is for him.

    I can see the url, probably to make me feel worse when I click it and instead of seeing another blog, all I can see is a white screen. It doesn't say anything, not error, nothing about the page not existing, just a blank, white screen. No matter how many times I refresh the page or restart my computer it stays the same.

    I think his power is getting stronger or something because what I see in that paragraph is, "Cynthia left a comment on your blog before she posted her codes, which are indeed what Kay sent you and what I've been working on translating. Paraphrased, .

    Now can you see that paraphrased message?"

    I could ask Thage to watch me while I read these things, but I'm not sure how much of a difference it would make. You could keep asking me questions, but I'm not sure how helpful I would be. Ask Anthony too if you want.

    To Kay- This time it didn't work, Kay. I think he's really blocking the message or something, because I couldn't even see that. Maybe all the other times he wants me too think there's a way around it?

  30. Good for you, Cathy, good for you. I hope you all have a great life. :)

  31. Here's a thought Cathy. Have you asked someone like Thage or Reach to read Cynthia's posts or comments out loud to you? It never occurred to me before because you were traveling alone, since you have other people with you now, maybe that's a loophole to make use of?

  32. Oh my goodness, I never even thought of that! I'll have to talk to Thage about that right now- great idea, Kay!

  33. i keep trying to post a comment, and this is the third time in a row that it's been deleted. i don't know if it's a problem with blogger or something else, but it's getting me annoyed.

    said comment involved numerous experiment ideas, including the read-aloud thing. but rather than repost my comment a fourth time, i'll wait and find out how the read-aloud thing goes, and we'll work from there. i really want to figure out the limitations to this thing.

  34. So much for a great idea. I'm so sorry Cathy!

  35. Breakfast's ready, are you feeling okay? I don't want to barge into the room in case you're not at your best.

  36. To Kay- It's okay, I'm better now. Tony just has a short fuse, he's alright now too. It really wasn't that bad, I promise.

    To Thage- I'm sorry I made you worry.