So Tony and Reach finally made their way to Thage's house. They've been here for a while now and...well, it was very awkward at first. The last time I saw my husband...ex-husband...whatever he is, I had knocked him out with a broken brick and left him at the hotel. And here he was, somehow found his way back to me in the end. I can't seem to go anywhere without him following, can I?
I'm glad he's alright. He was favoring his left leg so I think he might have gotten more injured than he said on his blog. But that would be just like Tony to keep quiet if he's hurt. He likes to play tough guy. Reach was...well he looked worse for wear. When I first saw him I think I made some sort of noise akin to a mother panicking when she sees her child injured, even if he is technically older than me. He still looks young, and so I'll see him as such most of the time. I asked him if he needed any patching up, but apparently Tony is better at being a mother than me because he had already done a good job of cleaning him up.
Thage gave him some food and
Oh, um, Thage. After that one entry she persuaded me to leave the bathroom and we ended up having quite a long talk about everything we were both feeling. Thage and I are in a relationship now. It's nothing...too serious. I honestly feel like I'm with my first boyfriend again, fumbling to fill up silences and unsure of what to do. I think it'll work out though. We know something could happen to either of us any day, so we're prepared for anything at this point.
Including nosy ex-husbands.
Anthony and I had a nice, lengthy chat about everything that's been happening. Although chat isn't the best word to describe the mood. There were angry words whispered so that we wouldn't bother Thage or Reach, and we went to another room too. We're both stressed because of Cynthia. At this point we've hit dead ends- we can't see anything she writes about and I have a feeling that we won't find her unless she wants to be found. I keep wishing that somehow I would find a hint of something that could help lead me to her, but I'm grasping at air at this point.
What Tony did while we were split up was admirable. He saved multiple people, and one of the problems was caused because of us. (I'm sorry Ava, I still see the Cynthia situation having happened because of our inability to be good parents.) I know he...beats himself up over having to leave Ava, but Thage has made a deal that got her back as far as I can see. Not to be rude, but I'm more distracted by my own family at the moment.
A lot has happened over the last week or so too. There are multiple Redlights apparently and that makes me feel very uneasy. Those people have my daughter and they obviously don't care for Anthony and I. He just laughs it off and says they'll never get to us, but I know that we're not invincible. Sometimes I wonder if Tony has lost the ability to fear. I know it sounds ridiculous, but who knows what happened to him during all those years. He won't tell me, just brushes the question away and changes the subject. It makes me frustrated but then he even said it didn't matter because we weren't married anymore and I shouldn't care.
I almost slapped him but I refrained myself from doing so. Violence isn't always the answer, after all. I know he's just under pressure right now. At this point he's the odd man out- it's no secret. Reach and Ava will probably stick together and go off to do their own thing and I'm staying with Thage for now. Two groups with one man in the middle. I don't think he wants any of us alone, keeps mentioning how we'd all be killed in seconds if something happened.
I honestly don't know what to think anymore. I've exhausted myself once more, to the point where it's hard to put ideas together and formulate responses. But I'm not showing weakness, especially in front of Anthony. With the bags under his eyes, it almost seems like he never sleeps. I don't know how you all do it, run day after day and wear yourself down until it's sheer will power moving your legs. I'm envious.
Have there been any updates on Cynthia's blog? Can anyone tell me what she's been doing? I think the last thing I saw was when Ava was, I think, talking to her on her own blog about killing soldiers? I don't know. I was getting only half of the conversation so things became confusing.
I think that's all I really have to say.
Take care of yourselves.