Saturday, February 5, 2011

I'm here

I reached the city and booked a room for one night at a hotel. I don't plan on staying very long this time around. Last time, even though it was only a few days, it still felt dangerous, like someone was watching me constantly. I haven't been able to sleep much lately because of it. I'll try and rest for a couple hours tonight though because I know I need it. I look like a wreck and that's not very helpful for blending in.

Tomorrow I'll be checking the library. Here's to hoping nothing goes wrong.

And, by the way, you all still have nightmares of him, right? It's not just a symptom for the awareness in the beginning?

Take care of yourselves.



  1. I've never had the nightmares, but I have a few different theories about why that might be. As far as I know though, once they start, they stay fairly common. Glad to see you made it safely.

  2. i dont dream unfortunately. i wish i had something to stare at when i was asleep... it would make me feel a little normal

  3. I don't get the nightmares, but that could just be me.......

    And the fact that I'm not really a heavy sleeper probably does something about that too. Also, I slept with the lights on and a comedy radioshow CD on repeat. I didn't let myself get nightmares.

    I hope that helps.

    And, just a thing.

    Cyndia seems to be trying to break through His hold on her. She's getting through some single sentences in amidst the paragraphs of violence.

    So, yeah, keep the hope.

  4. I get the nightmares, but I try not to dwell on them. I can't let myself fall into that trap. You can still turn back you don't have to go to the library it is a trap it's what he wants you to do, and I've always held the position of doing the opposite of what an abomination wants you to do.

  5. I know you don't have much of a choice besides going to the library, but we worry about you.

    Stay safe.


  6. I didn't get nightmares until earlier this month when I ended up trapped in a cabinet barely big enough for me to curl into a loose fetal position in. Chester has been having them since then as well.

    Good luck.


  7. In response to the nightmares... it's rare when I don't wake up in tears after remembering what the Black King put myself and the other fighters through when I lead the effort.

  8. To Kay- Could you list some of those theories? I'd like to hear them.

    To NOOC- I think it's best that you don't dream. When people like us, who go through situations that are traumatic, have dreams, they tend to hurt more than heal.

    To Ava- You sleep with the lights on too? Glad to see I'm not the only one. The dark is just too scary to walk in, let alone sleep in.
    She is? I can't begin to express my emotions for this post-so I'll settle with the basic: that makes me so happy!

    To Will- I know it's a trap. I'm starting to think that everything I do at this point is going to be a trap one way or another. But if I won't allow myself to be willing to risk anything then I won't have a chance of getting Cynthia back.

    To Kaiju- I know, and I'll be as careful as I can. You take care of yourself too.

    To Vivi- That...sounds nightmare inducing indeed. You two take care of yourselves and try not to run into your secret admirer.

    To Thage- What happened to you want to talk about it? If not, I understand because we all have our personal information that doesn't need to be public. But if you think it'll help you carry this weight better, I'm here to listen.

  9. Cathy, I'll email you. I try not to talk to much about my theories on the blogs until I've tested them. Too many other eyes out there, ya know?

  10. You can glean most of the details from Reach's blog and mine, though there are some things I haven't divulged quite yet. We'll piece my life back together one tragedy at a time, yes?

  11. To Kay- I'll go check my e-mail then. And I know what you mean, it's safer this way.

    To Thage- I'll try and do the best I can to figure some of the details out then. And I understand you wanting to keep the details to yourself. I suppose we'll do our best in taking this one step at a time.