Wednesday, February 2, 2011

I'm leaving

God dammit, I can't even stay in one place for less than a week and something happens!

This morning...that is, three hours ago or so, I couldn't sleep so I got up to make some coffee and look over my notes again. Of course the ex-hubby's parents were still asleep (they've been so kind, I really don't want to leave them but I have to) and so I was the only one up. They own this one cat- can't remember it's name, but it's pretty fat and stuck up- started looking towards the front door and hissing. The thing was arching its back and showing all of its teeth.

When it started to do this my stomach dropped and I wanted to run upstairs and hide under the covers of the bed. In fact, I actually started to make a break for the stairs. But then...I realized that something may happen to put these people who were taking care of me in danger, and I remembered how I said I was going to do anything to get my daughter back. So, against my better reasoning, I walked to the front door to look outside of the windows beside it. I'm sure I looked like I was about to throw up, and I felt like it too. And that damned cat just kept hissing and started yowling, like it was being attacked.

There was nothing at the front door, but there was this figure standing down the driveway next to the mailbox. It looked like a female, but I couldn't see any distinguishing features, so I didn't recognize her. As soon as we made eye contact, she raised this envelope towards me and then opened the mailbox to put it inside. She then began to run away. It was about here that I realized maybe I should be doing something, so I grabbed an umbrella out of the case next to the door, and ran outside to try and catch her. By the time I reached the mailbox she was gone. And this makes me even more nervous because the road by the house is set up to where you can see someone coming and going for miles...she just vanished into thin air.

Oh hell, I feel like I'm going to throw up again from nerves. But I'm going to finish explaining this for you all.

I got the envelope out of the mailbox and proceeded to run as fast as I could back inside. I just had this feeling of someone watching me and it terrified me. When I closed the front door and locked it, I then went into the upstairs bathroom and locked myself in. There are no windows in there and just one door to get in and out. Brought my laptop in as well and really made a fort in the tub with pillows and blankets. It sounds childish, but I felt safer.

There was only one thing in the envelope: a picture.

It's a picture of me and my first foster parents on my first day to elementary school. Cynthia...I'm guessing that Cynthia drew and wrote all over it. She...she doodled hearts around my younger self, scribbled x's over the parents faces and drew...she drew it in the background, behind us. It's just looming over us and it makes me feel like crying every time I look at it. On the back she only wrote one thing, "better get moving" with a heart.

They know where I am. They might have been watching me for the last few days. I have to leave. If I stay any longer I think I'm going to put these people in serious danger.

You know, I wanted to avoid this. I had thought that if I could just find a place to stay maybe things would be normal again. But this morning I realized that what is happening to me will never be normal and I'm going to have to do things myself if I ever want it to be resolved enough. I can't avoid this problem by researching infinitely and making sure not to do any physical work. I have to do this. I am her mother. Honestly I'm older than most of you in this situation, so that should make me more responsible and more ready to handle things. I'm going to try and be brave you guys.

Today is going to be my first day of running. I know it'll probably never end. But at least I know where I need to run to first: my elementary school. I'll see if I can find anything there...there has to be a reason that I was given this picture.

Take care of yourselves.



  1. i wish i could rightfully tell you to start running. but id be a hypocrite if i did, seeing how im just sitting in my house, not doing anything... then again, nothing has HAPPENED. damn Slendy...

    what i can say though is... uh grab a weapon of some kind; lead pipe, candlestick, heavy flashlight, hell a gun or a knife?! anything you can use to stop them proxies.

    Here is to a brighter and awesomer future,
    Stay Sane, Stay Alive

  2. Vanished into thin air? I'm going to have to ask Reach about that....that's a very Revenant thing for her to do. Do you have a more detailed description of the girl?

    As for the photo....

    Well, it's disturbing, I'll give you that. Any idea how she got her hands on the photo?

    Hehe. It's nice to see another foster kid done good round here.

    Hey! Don't pull the age thing! Age, I can honestly say, means next to nothing in the grand scheme of this. We're all in the same boat, young or older-than-young.

    Arm yourself. You're in America, right? Do you have a gun? Or a baseball bat? Or a knife? Or.....something? Mace works, Thage found the same out about airhorns too.

    Life is never going to be normal again, but at least you've accepted that now.

    Good luck at your primary school, I'll keep you in my thoughts.

    @Matt. Fucking hell, mate. Are you STILL using that moniker?



  3. My offer still stands. We have a vehicle, weapons, supplies, and are more than willing to help you in your search for answers.

  4. @ava, god damn it, just because i have a name doesnt mean i have to abandon my old one.

    it will be very handy!!! TRUST ME.

    also "You're in America right?" seriously? do you think we all just galavant around with weapons all the time?

  5. Taking a break from driving. The parting with the parents was tearful but necessary. They even made me take some cash and wouldn't take no for an answer. I'm going to miss those two.
    I've made good time. I'm currently stopped at a diner for lunch. This feels know that I actually have no home to go back to and that my car is really the only thing I have left. I'm guessing I'll be sleeping in this if I don't want to risk a motel. I think I'll reach the area of my old school by night, so I'll be checking out the building tomorrow. I figure the faster I do this, the faster I find Cynthia.
    It's strange because the weather is so nice right now. It feels like a perfect day- the kind the two of us would go to the park and play around in. Now I just feel depressed when I pass parents with their children. I'm trying to make the best out of this situation, but it's hard. And I know you all know that, so I'll switch to responses now.

    To NOOC- I have a weapon. A baseball bat that I took (and feel guilty about doing so) from the parent's house. And when I stopped at the gas station I picked up a thing of pepper spray and a flashlight. I'm not helpless right now, but I'm hoping I won't meet any trouble.
    Maybe one day we'll all have one.

    To Ava- Is it really? I assumed that it was just him...transporting them or something like that. It can do that, right? The girl had...light hair- blond but kind of brown as well. She didn't have too tan or too pale skin, and she was too far away for me to get a good look at her face. I'm sorry that this is probably not much help. I don't think he would send a Revenant after me though because I'm not much of a threat...
    He set the fire didn't he? I had photo albums in the house. I think maybe that she went with him and took it out before everything burned down. That's the only thing that makes sense. But this means she actually came to the house and I wasn't there for her.
    It wasn't a pleasant experience, but it wasn't exactly hell. Just...lonely, I guess.
    I know, it's just that I feel like I should at least be more calm and try to act like an adult in this situation. As it is, I act like a scared little girl most of the time.
    Yes, a baseball bat and pepper spray. I'm not sure if they'll help, but at least I have something. And there's no way for me to obtain a gun. That and I don't really want one. Airhorns? That sounds...interesting.
    Denial didn't work very well for me, did it?
    Hopefully all will go well. We'll see when I go tomorrow.

    To Will- For now I'm going to stick to myself. I don't want anyone else getting involved with this situation and I'm afraid Cynthia might start to target anyone around me. After all, we still don't know who was the dead person in that picture...

  6. That must've been the clue Cynthia was talking about.

    Cathy, you probably won't heed my warning, but it's a trap. Don't go there without some weapons and an escape route.

    Stay Safe.


  7. Clue? Is she giving out clues now? I'm so lost as to what's going on anymore. I guess I'll just keep trekking forward.

    I know it's probably some kind of trap, but if I don't do this, something bad might happen.

    Take care of yourself, Kaiju. And thank you for the support.

  8. are going to go into a trap... willingly?

    well if you are, make sure NOT to be near the school when you go to sleep. i dont like the idea of you being helpless near the trap location.

  9. Theoooooooooooooooooooooooooo...............

    I MEANT, it is LEGAL over there for anyone to own a gun, berkface.

  10. I'm already targeted, have been since November.

  11. Cathy, I do wish you luck in your search for answers and your daughter. It has been said already, but you have weapons to defend yourself, which is good. The one who left you the envelope, probably not a Revenant, but very likely one of His proxies. And it was probably Him or a proxy that set the fire. Truthfully, for now it may be better to go solo. Like you said, you don't want to drag others into this. Just remember, you have all of us on here that are already involved, some more deeply than others. We are all happy to lend any assistance to you that we can.


  12. Stay safe. If you need anything, just tell me and I'll try to help as best as I can.