Monday, January 16, 2012

Do you ever get the feeling that your baby might not be okay? Well, probably not because I'm sure most of you have never even been pregnant. But pretend for a moment that you have a child growing in you and instead of the normal symptoms of pregnancy you have developed strange habits and urges that you don't know what to do about.

For the last week I have been eating nothing but raw meat. Thinking back on this I realized that maybe there was something wrong because that can't be healthy for a pregnant woman to do in such large quantities. But then he told me that it was alright and the animals would be good for the baby so I started to skin dead rabbits and deer that I found outside of my new home and just eat them as they are. I don't know who left them. I doubt it was him because he has better things to do than attend to me. But that has been my diet for seven days now and I don't see myself stopping any time soon. Bloody meat and water. Somehow it tastes very good.

The nightmares grow worse some nights as well. I dream of clawing my skin off or ripping at my stomach to get to the baby and pull it out of me. Sometimes I dream of the baby talking to me, whispering to me how strange I am. And then there are dreams where I am with Tony and Cynthia but they're dead and I'm feeding them to my newborn. I suppose that might be the result of the strain of pregnancy.

It's just little things that when I think about them seem off. Especially since I don't remember going through such things with Cynthia, but I guess every baby is different, right?


  1. "But then he told me that it was alright and the animals would be good for the baby"

    Who is "he", Cathy?

    Please, this is very important. If you want your children to stay safe, if you have any feelings for your family at all, you'll answer me.

  2. The man who takes care of me. He works under him and he helps me when I have problems. After all a pregnant woman can't be left alone. I don't know why you seem so concerned, Hakurei.

  3. Raw meat is not good to eat in general Cathy, let alone in mass quantities.

  4. Uh. Look, I don't know how much of this is true and how much of it is bullshit, but speaking as someone who just had her baby a couple weeks ago, that is definitely not good for you when you're pregnant.
    Or ever, raw meat is not good for you in general.
    But especially not when you have a tiny helpless person growing inside you.