Thursday, February 3, 2011

The school


Okay. Okay I’m calm now. Oh shit, no I’m still crying. God dammit it’s been a couple hours and I’m still jumping at shadows and I can’t stop the tears- alright, I’ll stop talking about that. Okay everything is fine. Just going to tell what happened now.

I-I went to the school. There was some kind of school fair going on so I guess it had ended early. But there were still so many people there- parents, children, friends, and staff. I got lost so easily, I didn’t know who to ask or go to. I guess I was just wandering around looking lost. Everyone was preoccupied with getting their activities done and there was no one to help. I started to panic- it looks like this constant paranoia has given me a fear of crowds and I was scared because I began to think that everyone there was hollowed out.
Right before I had a panic attack, this man…he came up to talk to me. I just

I dated him in college. Elijah Macintire. He went to another college, med school, was going to be a nurse or doctor or something.

At first I was happy to see a familiar face. He acted like he was surprised too, asked me how I was and if I was looking for anything. I said no, I was just checking out the school for my daughter. He answered…”Are you sure don’t want to know where Cynthia is?”

Ohgodohgodohgod

He made me come with him into the school- he threatened to shoot all the kids at the fair and their families and friend and I was so scared and so alone and I didn’t know what to do- I blanked out, I forgot what weapons I had with me and what to do in these situations. He took me to one of the family bathrooms with a gun pressing so lightly against my back like it almost wasn’t there but it was I could’ve died

When he locked us in, Elijah took out this envelope out of his pocket and waved it in my face. Told me that if I wanted it I’d have to come and get it. I don’t know as soon as he did that, everything just snapped back into perspective. I remembered the pepper spray I had in my purse and I managed to get him in the eyes and elbow him. He dropped the envelope and fell and somehow I fell down too and everything starts to become a blur here- he was trying to roll me over and pin me down and he hit me in the face with his gun, but I grabbed the changing station tray and smashed it down onto his head. Somehow, somehow I got the gun from him and I just kept hitting him with it over and over.

It took me a few minutes to realize that he was knocked out and when I did I grabbed the envelope, stuck the gun in my purse and ran out and to my car as fast as I could.

When I got back…I got a look at myself in the mirror…I didn’t look like me at all. I looked so crazy, ready to kill someone. I hate this feeling- I hate what I’m becoming. I just fought a man I was in love with at one point in my life and might have permanently injured him- I could have broken a bone or even killed him! And it’s all for this library card. Yes- that’s all that was in the god damn envelope, a library card from the library I went to when I was in middle school.

I just want to scream at the top of my lungs and hit something because I’m going insane. This thing is going to drive me crazy before I can get Cynthia back. Or it’s going to turn me into a cold blooded murderer and I don’t want that. Shit, I can’t stop crying.

I have to go right now

Take care of yourselves

-Cathy

28 comments:

  1. no one loves you but me
    no one cares about you but me
    but unfortunately you can't see me

    <3

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  2. Why don't you let her see you, Cynthia?

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  3. but cynthia! i love her as well! how could i say that i did not love the flesh and blood mother of my own sister?

    hm?

    -Bruder

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  4. princess, there is no need for Her to be able to see me yet. if She could everything would mess up and we can't have that.

    you are my brother? this is nice. i've always wanted a family...and how could you not love Mommy? there is nothing to hate.

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  5. Cathy, perhaps that library card is another clue for you, leading you to that particular library. However, it again could be a trap. Tell us about that library, as much as you can remember: both about the building, and any experiences you had there.

    -Lucien

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  6. i know there is nothing to hate. that is why i love her so!

    ive always wanted a family as well, cynthia. and now that i have a sister, its so wonderful.

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  7. It's not wonderful how you've come to meet though.

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  8. why not?

    i mean, how else could we meet?

    are you just jealous that we have a family to call our own? one that is far better than what you can claim?

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  9. Jealousy is the last thing I feel.

    Right now? The first thing is rage. You've found your sister, so you have no business on this account, since your so dead set on staying though at least let NOOC speak with us. To let us know he's alright.

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  10. alright? dear yggy, he is far from alright.

    but dont worry, there is nothing to stop him from posting anything. possibly except his own mind.

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  11. Because if you don't Liam and I will find out the hard way.

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  12. yes. yes you will.

    so stop worrying, unless you want to find yourself in a situation you cant handle

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  13. I'm...I'm guessing that Cynthia commented again. Can anyone tell me what she said? Is she okay?

    As for you NOOC, you're not my son, I don't know what you're talking about, I only have a daughter. And whatever you've done with the real boy...could you at least let him speak to everyone? Or just let him go?

    To Lucien- I'm guessing so. I haven't looked at it since I got back yesterday and I don't really feel like looking at it again any time soon. The library was just like every other library, I'm guessing. It was a little bit smaller than the usual, but it was a place I liked to go because I didn't really have any friends during middle school. I spent hours there just reading books in one of the comfy chairs. I even knew the librarians names and was offered a job there if I wanted. I never took it, but it was a place I spent more time in than my own home (at the time), I think.

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  14. that wasnt me cathy.

    that was some dick of a prooxy who took over my account.

    stay safe... please... stay safe.

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  15. Cathy, I have some advice for you. I know it feels like where's-his-face will drive you batshit no matter what you do, but I've made it this far and plenty of other bloggers have made it even further. Try to stay calm, maybe develop a sense of humor about it if you can. Don't let fear take over your life.

    We'll get Cynthia back. I promise.

    --Vivi

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  16. Comments from your daughter:

    no one loves you but me
    no one cares about you but me
    but unfortunately you can't see me

    <3

    and later:

    princess, there is no need for Her to be able to see me yet. if She could everything would mess up and we can't have that.

    you are my brother? this is nice. i've always wanted a family...and how could you not love Mommy? there is nothing to hate.

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  17. CATHY!!! CYNTHIA IS ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING BIG!!! STAY ON GUARD!!!

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  18. To NOOC- I kind of assumed it was that or you had been...well, taken. I'm happy to see that you're safe, but make sure to be careful for a while. I don't want to see another person in trouble.

    To Genevieve- I'm trying to stay as optimistic as I can, but first Cynthia, then the house, now Elijah...it's just so much to take in. I'm not entirely sure how to develop a sense of humor in all of this. If anything I'm beginning to feel motherly attachment to everyone on here because I think I'm one of the oldest. If you have any suggestions, I'd like to hear them seeing as tomorrow I'm driving out to look at the second clue. I don't exactly want to stay in one place for too long...I feel like if I do they'll catch me.

    To Kay- The fact that I can see these makes me wonder if He's mocking me.

    To NOOC- Wait, what? Do you know what that is?

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  19. You probably are one of the older slenderbloggers the eldest is Reach, who is I believe in his forties or fifties. Mentally at least. I'm 20, so I'm about the median age, but I seriously feel like a big sister to everyone here. I've been around...since November, which is a while for a Slenderblog.

    I recommend you bring two weapons. One lethal such as a knife or firearm and one nonlethal (I prefer a cricket bat) weapon. Start off using the nonlethal one if attacked, move to the lethal one if they're persistent. Whatever you do, don't wear a skirt. And tye your hair back if it's not already short. Most skirts restrict leg movement and hair in your face is a recipe for disaster. Good luck.

    --Vivi

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  20. @Vivi, I have the same feeling as you. I am 25, going on 26 in March. I feel like a big brother to people here. As for the weapons, I agree with the lethal weapon, but not the nonlethal. I still agree with my old fashioned rock, pepper spray, or even just some other small, blunt object.

    -Lucien

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  21. @Lucien: Huh. You're the same age as my older brother. And my co-worker Leah. That's interesting.

    As for the non-lethal weapons, I prefer to disable my opponents rather than killing them outright, just because the last thing Chester and I need is a jail sentence for murder. Or getting locked up in an asylum for telling the police "He was a servant of an Eldritch Abomination with no face", y'know?

    --Vivi

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  22. To Genevieve- I've read about Reach, he seems like an interesting fellow. I'm not exactly sure what I would say to him though, so I've sort of just read his posts. That's about how I am with most of the blogs, I think. There's not much you can say to someone being stalked by him or attacked by proxies.
    I still have the gun from Eli, but I haven't touched it. It's still sitting in my purse- I don't even know how to fire one to be honest, so I'm not sure if it would be much help. As for blunt objects, I have several of those. And as for clothes, I only own the two skirts and shirts. I'm going to go shopping for another set to change into when I go looking for this clue. My hair is already short, but I'll try pinning it back.
    Thank you for the advice, Vivi (if I may call you that).

    To Lucien and Vivi- It's nice to know that not every single person being chased is a teenager. And Vivi, your method is probably going to be what I prefer. The thought of killing another person, crazed or not, it's...I don't think I'll ever be able to.

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  23. Of course you can call me Vivi. Pretty much everyone does.

    I can agree with you on the count of not being able to kill another person. That's why although both Chester (who is the gentlest person I know) and I possess firearms we still prefer cricket bats.

    --Vivi

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  24. I wouldn't go to the library it wreaks of a trap. Sorry I haven't commented in awhile I was. . . Busy. I'm 23 by the by.

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  25. You are not alone in your 20's being gone Cathy. I'm younger then you, but not enough for to go motherly on me. :) There's also Tony from Get Your Game Face On who says he's about to be 40, and Zeke Strahm was about 27 when his mess started, so I'm guessing he'd be 28 now.

    As far as the comments, maybe he's mocking you, maybe not, but I'm just excited you were able to see them. I was not expecting the c/p to work!

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