Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Something is wrong.

I think...I think that Cynthia saw something when she went missing. She keeps looking out the windows as if she's trying to spot someone- I  think it's the stalker but I never saw anyone. Even so, I called the police to tell them, but I did it while Cynthia wasn't around. She's not herself right now and I don't think she wants the police involved in this mess, but I need some kind of authority nearby to ensure that this won't happen again.

Today when I walked into the kitchen Cynthia was...staring out the window over the sink and running her finger along the blade of the biggest knife we own to cut fruit up. She had cut herself deeply and I think she might need stitches. I'm going to try and convince her to come with me to doctor's, but when I first mentioned it she told me, "No. No doctor's. No police. Just me and you, Mommy."

Her eyes looked frantic and so I agreed, but if I have to drag her to the car, I will. The neighbors haven't come around to see what's going on, which bothers me a little as well. Usually when something happens in this area, even small things, everyone wants to know what's going on. I don't think I've even seen anyone since yesterday morning other than the cops. It makes me uneasy- I feel like something big is about to happen but I don't know what.

And...I saw the last post Cynthia wrote.

Guys I just really don't know

Nevermind. Currently I'm sitting in the living room with Cynthia and writing this up on the laptop while we watch sci-fi. They're playing some low budget movie, but she wanted to watch it, so I let her. I just want her to act normal again. She keeps glancing over at me and I get this horrible queasy feeling, like I'm doing something she doesn't want and it scares me. This is my eleven year old daughter, I should not be afraid of her. She's probably traumatized by what happened and can't find the words to talk about it.

I've been unable to sleep lately too. Ever since about Sunday, I had these vivid dream- it's the same one every time. So I've been opting to sleep as little as possible and watch Cynthia instead. I accidentally passed out earlier, but I woke up a little while after and she was watching the television.

The police are going to call me and tell me what they found later today. I had to call the person who offered me a job and cancel my interview. They understood and agreed to let me try again whenever all of this blew past, so at least that's one good thing that's happened.

I'll probably update again tonight after the police call.



  1. Hide the knives.

    That's the most urgent thing I can think of currently.

    Hide them in your mattress for all I care, don't tell us where, your daughter reads this blog, and if she finds them...

    Well, let's keep on the current track, right?

    I know it's hard to accept. I KNOW, believe me. There are others of us that know even worse than me.

    Keep your daughter in the same room as you, please. At all times. Even if she needs to go to the bathroom.

    The dream. Explain. Please. Tall men in suits with no faces? Masks?

    I apologise for the crypticness and the curtness, but problems on my end.

    The Scientist

  2. I already hid them. I stuck her back in the living room when I found her doing that and took them all away, even the little butter knives. I'm not sure why should would do that, but at least now she doesn't have access to them.

    And I won't let her out of my sight. I'm terrified that she might disappear again or try to hurt herself, so I'm keeping her with me at all times. She doesn't seem to be bothered by this, in fact, she looked worried when I left the room to hide the knives and relieved when I came back.

    It's...weird. I-this is-I don't want to say why it's odd, but I can tell you the dream. I'm a little girl and I'm with my parents. We're playing Frisbee and my dad throws it too far. He goes to get it but takes too long and so my mother goes after him and makes me promise to stay where I am. And it feels feels like something is coming but, but I'm happy.

    I know, it doesn't make sense. I don't know why this is happening now.

  3. Good. I suppose it's stupid of me to question the sensibilities of a Mother, hmm? :)

    My own would boot me up the backside. XD very common. Have you closed the curtains? Do you have music on loudly/just loud enough? I find these things help at least keep the mind calm.

    It makes slightly more sense that you know...

    Have you asked your daughter about faceless men yet? I'm sorry if we seem pushy about this, but it is rather an important point under your daughter's current circumstances.

    Who knows why it happens to them? Not many of us, that's for sure. and even then, all we have are vagaries of perception.

    I, an the rest of here to help you, I can assure you as to that fact. You need only ask for it.

    The Scientist

  4. Haha, I guess you could have already known I'd do that. We mothers tend to be protective like bears- it comes in handy from time to time. Your mother sounds like a woman I could respect- tell her I said hi.

    The movie is distracting enough, and the living room only has one window which I've closed the curtains to. There's still the kitchen windows, but you can't see them from the couch, and Cynthia doesn't look bothered by this.

    I tried asking her a few minutes ago just to check, at this point I'm pulling blanks at what's happening. She just...smiled at me and shook her head, she even asked me who I was talking about and when I couldn't answer turned back to the television. In fact, she's starting to act normal again, which is a good sign. Maybe she'll be willing to go to the doctor now. I don't like how she's acting towards the movie- it's a violent, horrible piece of crap, I can say this with confidence. She keeps laughing when people die. It's...unnerving.

    I don't really know how you could help this unless you were near. The support actually works miracles when I'm feeling so stressed out, so thank you for that. But the kidnapper can only be caught by the police.

  5. Eugh. I said I wanted to be useful... and you sound like you need help.

    I second Ava in asking about faceless, tall men - it might seem nonsensical, but it's quite an important question. I'm afraid I'm not being of much use right now, but if you do need something... we want to help.

    You feel like something big's about to happen - can you maybe call up your neighbours, ask if they've noticed anything? The fact that no one has come around is a bit worrisome, I agree.

  6. Hehehe, sorry, I'm used to dealing with scatter-brained/hysterical teenagers in this kind of situation. :)

    She shares this blog with me, for all I know, she could have already seen (though judging by the lack of ranty posts about how much she's going to hunt down the thing that did this ectectect, she hasn't.)

    Hmmmm, I don't suppose I have to say that it's best to swap the movie? Or distract her with a board game or something....

    Has she mentioned a new best friend recently? Does she play hide-and-seek?

    Ohhh, believe me Ma'am...I'm more than capable of getting to those that (A) need it and (B) if I have other business in the area. It's the reason I'm far away from home right now...

    But the support is what we are here for most of the time. Support and guidance.

    My thoughts are with you and yours,

    The Scientist

  7. To Stormecho- I did ask her she said she didn't know what I was talking about.

    I'm thinking of calling them up tonight, but I'm not sure if I want to do it while Cynthia is around. It sounds stupid, but she seems to panic every time someone else other than she and I are mentioned.

    To Ava- Haha, well I'm no teenager. Haven't been one for a while, though I'd love to be one again.

    Just tried what you suggested and offered a board game. She said that's boring and she likes the movie. Grabbed the clicker and everything. I don't have the heart to change the channel, and it's not hurting anything to finish the movie. I think it's almost over anyway.

    Her new best friend was this girl named Rachel. But Cynthia said she stopped hanging out with her last week...Rachel...did say she felt like she was being followed and she hadn't been sleeping well. So I thought that maybe whoever this stalker is, took interest in Cynthia because of Rachel and is now following my daughter around instead.

    In fact, she hasn't mentioned Rachel for a while. I'm going to try and ask her if this has anything to do with her.

  8. Ma'am I'm not joking this is not a game. Slenderman is real, and you need to grab you daughter and run now. The longer you wait the closer he gets. If you don't run then he will snatch your daughter before your eyes, and you will never see her again. If you want her to be normal again then you have to run. The police are useless they can't do anything for you now. Run before it is too late. I don't want to see anyone else die or vanish by this thing. Please I'm begging you for your own good run.

  9. okay.

    just kidding will, we're perfectly happy together at home. i have to leave soon but Mommy won't be alone for long.